My best friend has an eating disorder, and It's weighing me down.

[randomman101]

Hello, so my friend is 14, 15 in a week or so. We have been best friends for a while now, and there used to be two other girls in the group.

When my friend was diagnosed with bullemia, both girls slowly but surely left the friend group, due to it being a lot to cope with.
However now it's just us too. I have helped her continuously, I go out when she wants to, will stay in with her when she wants to. I do everything for her, whenever, wherever.

I know that's what a good friend does, but it's slowly but surely getting to me.

As much as I understand it, she's constantly talking about it, posting about it and doing things such as taking peoples sweets and saying it's okay as she "has an Ed". I am getting annoyed with her, and I am tired of constantly looking after her, and when I had an issue a few weeks ago with my ex boyfriend, she just said "we both have issues then". It makes me so angry, and as much as I love her and I want to care for her, I don't know how longer I can keep running after her if she doesn't do anything at all for me, and will leave me for other people at any chance she gets.

It sounds like you have been a really good friend to her.
However, it is okay to say enough is enough, and then take a step back for the sake of your own sanity. Especially as she isn’t there for you. Start spending time with other people occasionally, start doing something fun, something you want to do rather than her controlling everything you do.

This.

You have been a great friend to her, but you need to be a great friend to yourself as well. Don't be content with playing a bit part in your own life. Keep in touch with other friends and make sure you see them independently of her. Don't shut her out, make sure you do things with her, but also make sure that other people are around if possible. Do your parents know about her eating disorder?

Thank you so much.

I have been doing so now, but I'm worried that if I spend more time away from her doing things for myself, that she may deteriorate and I'm to blame.

Yeah my parents know, my dad always tells me that it's not my problem, and he has took me out a few times as he can see that it's affecting me, and as much as he cares about her recovery too, he always says that it's not my responsibility.

I’m the mum of a 15 year old and no way would I be putting up with this.

she isn’t actually a friend (at the moment) is she? She is (on purpose or not) just being a user. She obviously has zero intention of getting better- and why would she when she gets more attention and victimhood by not getting better.

my guess is that if her family went on a months holiday you would feel relieved. You definitely, as a life skill, need to learn to put boundaries in place. Do you ever just say No to her.