Lightbulb moment - binge eating disorder

[poppetandmog]

I think I've just had my lightbulb moment. I can't live like this anymore. I am a secret eater and have just piled on the weight over the years. I'm now 18 stone and my tummy is so huge I look like I have a front mum. I used to be attractive but now just look disgusting.

I binge eat secretly and go to great lengths to hide it. Tonight my DH was supposed to be away overnight with work. I pre ordered myself a huge Chinese takeaway (on my credit card so he wouldn't know.) He's just text to say he's actually coming home and I've just had to call up and cancel the takeaway. I ordered on an app and am sitting here so anxious that it will be delivered anyway and I'll be found out. I know that sounds ridiculous and it's made me realise my behaviour is not normal.

I know I will be judged but I really just need a hand hold and some help as I don't want to be like this anymore.

Hello, no judgement here, well done for realising and articulating it. It was a huge shock to me when I realised I had a disorder, I wasn't just a greedy liar. It took me a while to come to terms with it. The website BEAT was really helpful, I joined their anonymous chat room which was good. I tried OverEaters Anonymous which didn't work for me. I was already having therapy so raised it there and we're still working on it. There's a lot of good accounts on Instagram and YouTube too.
Intuitive and mindful eating help me, as does journalling when I get the urge to binge, and keeping busy so I have less time to be bored in front of the TV.
Again, well done for realising. Don't beat yourself up, binging is a coping mechanism just like drinking/drugs/self harm, and it takes a while for you to find new healthier coping mechanisms. Something triggers the need to use your coping mechanism, so try figure it out and find a different way to cope.
Slow and steady!

Was it your lightbulb moment op?