Hi guys just wanted to get it of my chest or maybe some words of encouragement
I’ve had an eating disorder since I was 15 started with anorexia and during my pregnancies I developed bulimia.
When I got pregnant with my first I was only 43kg but was 50 at full time. I got pregnant really quickly after and was around 45kg and was 55kg at full term. I’m now 3 months pp and are 52kg. And I’m still battling the bulimia.
I thought my babies would help me recover but i developed ppd and used the disorder as a coping mechanism as I know I can’t possibly starve myself again without it hindering my relationships. My husband is also worried about me and has been for a long time and would prefer me to be healthier but I just can’t push past it. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been in therapy twice I’m current receiving help with my other problems such as fear of my kids not loving me due to childhood traumas but I still can’t find a way out. I constantly feel threatened fhG my kids won't love me the most as I'm
The primary caregiver I do every single thing for them their dad goes to work and when he returns he just plays and she seems ecstatic to see him
Sorry for this I just needed to talk