Support thread 9 (!) for parents of young people with an eating disorder

[Girliefriendlikespuppies]

Thought I better start a new thread, can't believe we're on to thread 9 😳

Hope all the regulars find it!

@lexilou985 Sorry you find yourself here - but welcome. I'm so sorry you didn't get referred by your first GP. Normally, I say, look at Eva Musby's YouTube videos, for some really good tips on family-based support. You can also sign up for free webinar training with BEAT. However, given your DD's very low WFH, I'm assuming they are thinking about an admission to an inpatient unit? If so, this is the best thing that happened to my daughter - she was admitted to a general hospital 8 times for complications (mainly to do with her heart) from malnutrition. She ran away twice. After 5 months of regular nutrition she is starting to think more clearly. She is getting weekend home leave from next week and wants to look at universities. You'll get loads of support from this thread. Best wishes.

She stands on the scale backwards, so she can’t see the weight, but I can see it. I don’t tell her her weight, but she knows if she gains, her meal plan isn’t increased and she’s not off to the clinic. The day after physical check is always tricky as the weight gain plays on her mind. She’ll try to cut calories at every opportunity, eg leaving a couple of mouthfuls of fruit juice or milk, insisting on having something lower calorie for her evening meal rather than have what the rest of the family are having.

@NanFlanders Thank you. Inpatient clinic has been discussed but they would rather her be treated at home if possible. If she meets her target weight gain every week, then we’ll keep her at home. There are no clinics local to us, and they said the referral process was lengthy for waiting for beds etc. They have also said that she may be come institutionalised in a clinic and may pick up bad habits. She really doesn’t want to go into a clinic but knows it may be the only option if she’s not gaining. I feel sick at the thought as she’s such a shy girl and never been away from us.

lexilou985

It's so so hard but keep pushing calories in where ever you can. Are you managing to sneak in extra animal fats.. butter, cream etc? Not too much but enough to help her brain recovery.

@lexilou985 If she wants to recover, that is great. (One of the many horrible symptoms of anorexia can be refusal to acknowledge the illness). We didn't do well with family-based therapy, but a lot of people on here have done. If she will eat, I'd say lots of dairy (permanent damage to bones is a very real and irreversible risk, so they need the calcium) - and animal-based fats. This is only anecdotal, but my daughter's thinking started to change for the better when started eating fish.

@Lexi welcome. There is such a wealth of experience on here and I've found the ' there is nothing new under the sun' feeling of the thread to be immensely comforting. There is always someone here, v sadly, who has experienced something v similar.
Maybe I'm being super sceptical but I wonder if they are pushing the institutionalised card at you because they know they are too stretched too accommodate your DD right now so I wouldn't rule it out if you are struggling to move forwards at home

My DD was another one who did not want to recover so it was a one sided fight in the beginning so hopefully you have a better starting point @Lexi
I also secretly stir double cream in wherever I can though our unit is v disapproving about this sort of thing (as could destroy trust)

Hey all and a special 'welcome to newbies. No one wants to be here but we hope the thread helps.
We are nearing 1000 posts and things can move quickly so I am going to start a new thread and link it here before we lose you all! Back in a mo

New thread
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/eating_disorders/4901861-support-thread-10-for-parents-of-young-people-with-an-eating-disorder

@Kelkee I think you need to post on the new thread (thread 9 see link above) or your post won’t be seen 😘