Scared to put weight on and obsessive weighing

[turtlecave]

Hello,

I recently lost a lot of weight. I've gone from 11st 5 to 7st 7. This started at the beginning of the year, I decided to calorie count.

I kept moving the goal lower and lower. I'm still not happy.

I weigh myself everyday- morning and night. I write down the weights to see how much it fluctuates? It's a weird obsession really.

I am now really frightened to put the weight back on.

I've obviously had lots of comments from people, especially ones I haven't seen for a while. I haven't liked the fuss tbh! I find it uncomfortable.

My partner has said a couple of things too, like he finds me more sexually attractive now; I think he didn't mean it how it sounds. I think because I kept complaining about how I still don't feel great he thought he had to say something to make me feel better.

I don't really know what to do. In my mind for some reason I really want to lose more; to get my BMI to 18.5. It's currently at 19.3.

I am restricting my food intake now; I haven't calorie counted for a while. I used to weigh my food etc to make sure I knew the calories.

Sometimes if im really hungry I'll make sure I eat but sometimes I try to ignore it.

What could I do? Im just not happy still with my weight and how i look. I thought losing the weight would help with my self esteem and confidence but it hasn't; im still picking out parts I hate like my saggy stomach.

Hello OP, I could have written your post except I can tell you that the lower numbers won't be enough either. I can't write much now but am posting to come back later.

Unfortunately severe dieting kicks something off in some people's brains, and it's deadly, I'm not being dramatic here, it really is.

Therapy and medication can help, but most of all, you need to EAT. Start eating and keep eating. Do not keep ignoring your hunger cues, please.

I'll post some links for you later on. In the meantime, have you ever looked at the Beat eating disorder website, or the Fuckeatingdisorders subreddit? Can I suggest you give it a try?

Well done for posting by the way, you recognising this is amazing

I am actually finding it really hard to shift any weight now and I think that's why things are getting extreme.

Worth mentioning I do have adhd and autism too.

Will have a look, thank you.

I've been there. I'm probably a bit there now but I'm on medication that I have to take with food so that is forcing me to eat more. I'm a bit obsessed with being thin and I've actually refused steroids for a condition I have because they make you put weight on, even thought they would help with the disease.

Clearly I have no advice but I know how you feel.

It sounds like you've tipped into anorexia which as a pp said is a deadly illness.

You need to talk to your GP and start looking at getting some help.

Autism and EDs are closely linked and it sounds like this has become your new special interest/obsession.

It is so dangerous and you need to recognise this, no number will ever be low enough as anorexia is never happy.

Throw the scales away, do not weigh food, eat 3 regular meals a day with several snacks.