DD (8) emulating friend with anorexia

[Notanotherone5]

Hi

i hope this is the best place to post my concerns about DD2 (8yo)

DD1’s best friend (I’ll call her M) has been diagnosed with anorexia at just 10yo, which is obviously awful for the family. My concern is that my 2 DD often play together at school with their friends and the topic of anorexia comes up quite a lot. DD2 has started saying that she wants to be as thin as M. M also has an exercise routine that she does multiple times a day and apparently DD2 has learnt this routine and occasionally does it at play time

its worth noting that DD2 is naturally very thin and has always had a very small appetite. She hasn’t started restricting food or anything like that

any advice on how I should deal with this? What conversations should I have with DD2? Should I ask school if the kids can be separated at play time?

M is in year 6, so will be leaving school in a couple of months

thanks for reading this far

I would explain to your DD that M is unwell and she is worrying too much about food and exercise and that it is a diagnosed illness.

I would definitely speak to school about your concerns.

Do you ever pass any comment on size, weight, diet or looks about yourself or anyone else in your DD's hearing? If so, you should completely stop this to avoid reinforcing any message your DD is getting from her friend.

This charity might have advice on what to say https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/ It is very complicated.

Thanks @wildfirewonder DD2 knows that M is very unwell and has been in hospital due to the anorexia

we don’t tend to comment on diet etc but will certainly be aware of this and will read the link. I will raise with the teacher tomorrow

In case you are worried - I don't think you are being unsupportive towards M by also worrying about if your DD could be getting influenced. It is a sensible concern and the school have a duty to all the kids. Anorexia is really dreadful, poor M.