I need help.

[IfYoureGonnaBreakMyHeart]

My beautiful, intelligent, thoughtful 16 year old daughter is tangled up with an eating disorder.
She's currently on week four of her counselling with the college counsellor who thinks that she might have anxiety too.
I'm out of my depth. But I'm also a long term bulimic. I am not affected day to day anymore but i know that if something really awful happened there's a chance that I may revert to the same coping mechanism.
I want to support dd as much as I can and we talk and she's hopeful for recovery but sceptical that it can happen.
She has a phone call consult through the nhs this week. I'm hoping she engages.
I want to help but I'm scared to make it worse.
Can you help me please.

@IfYoureGonnaBreakMyHeart so sorry to hear that your daughter is suffering from an ED. There is a good support thread including parents of children with ED's - they offer advice and support from lived experience, it has been very helpful for me and my daughter. www.mumsnet.com/talk/eating_disorders/4718773-support-thread-8for-parents-of-young-people-with-an-eating-disorder

@IfYoureGonnaBreakMyHeart sorry to hear this.
It’s positive that she talks to you though and also that she believes she can see ahead to recovery but still very worrying for you all.

Thank you. I've posted in the thread linked above xx

Can you afford counselling for you??

No, I could try and self refer but I feel guilty because it's not about me it's about dd. (Narcissistic mum made me feel lesser so I've tried to be a better mum for my own)

I am so sorry. I really am. I was a slave to my brother's eating disorder for years and it is so heartbeaking. Honestly, I wouldn't wish being a carer to a loved one with an eating disorder on my worst enemy. It feels like the whole world is on your shoulders and nobody understands. Every single day my mind and body willed me to leave. I remember crying, listening to him exercising in his room during the night and just wanting to get out of the house, close the door, and run. And run. And not stop until I was out of the hell that I had been trapped in for years. But I couldn't abandon him.

Believe me when I tell you that you cannot do this on your own. It is not fair. You both need support. I know it sounds so unhelpful and condescending, and I really wish that there was something I could do to take this pain away from you both. Keep strong. You are both doing so well, and I believe in you. 💐💐💐

As gently as possible, there's every chance that this is about you on some level as it's likely some of your inherited thinking around self worth and food have continued down to DD.

So I would say that finding some help to understand your own issues could be a part of helping support DD with her own.

Sorry I'm struggling a bit with your reply. Do you mean I've done this? I've always tried to avoid any diet talk etc and always talked about how strong and clever etc they are. We never allowed 'diet' talk around them as youngsters.