Advice 18 yr old DD

[MumMC23]

Hi everyone, I’m after some advice please for an area I’m just learning.
So my daughter (now 18) earlier this year gave up football due to her team folding and deciding to concentrate on her A level year. She started out changing her eating because she was aware that without the exercise she may gain weight (very good eater including takeaways before) she weighed 62 kg in April and is 5 ft 7”.
originally it was protein bars and protein cereal etc then she realised that some
of them were high in calories so she slowly started eating less and less to the point where her days would consist of less than a 1000 calories, I’m guessing maybe less 🤷🏼‍♀️
as it got towards the summer we noticed she was losing weight more and more and spoke to her when we had a family holiday in august as she looked so thin. She was extremely snappy and would not take us discussing it well. This continued until maybe late October when she would then occasionally eat say a pizza or a McDonald’s take away but then feel guilty. The she had started wearing her sisters Apple Watch and noticed her heart rate was lower than her friends and she was tired a lot.

The week after her 18th (November) it all
came to a head and me and her dad confronted her and over that weekend she realised she needed to change and has since been on the road to recovery slowly!
she was 43.7 kg on that day and has since put 2 kg on and is doing better, wanting to eat and we’ve had the odd day of guilt but generally she’s ok. She looks better not as drawn in her face and isn’t as moody or tired.

So the big question is, do we carry on just us or do we seek help aswell?? Doctors, support groups etc for her??
She was so fragile in the beginning I was scared it would send her the opposite way but now wondering wether we need to get her checked out for her body health

Thankyou in advance from a worried clueless mum xx

Hello, poor you, it's really devastating the way the creeping realisation that something is wrong blows up into full-blown crisis. I knew for ages that my DD was getting too thin. It's emotional whiplash.

I'd repost this onto the teen eating disorders thread
www.mumsnet.com/talk/eating_disorders/4641176-teen-eating-disorders-thread-7

There's loads more traffic and lots of helpful people, some of whom have children over the age of 18 (mine was 14 when first diagnosed) which I think brings different challenges. I'd warn you that posters are pretty robust, having gone through this and bearing the scars, and will tell you that you need to get more help and the potential danger you DD is in. Your DD is very underweight and 2kg is a great start, but she needs to be gaining 500g-1kg week in week out. She needs to be at the very least 12kg heavier, but ideally restored to her previous weight.

I think this is very difficult to do without external help. At the very least, get to the GP's to start a referral. It'll be really hard for her to do her A levels if she's not properly nourished. I don't want to scare you but she needs loads of physical checks as she's putting her heart under great strain as well as damaging her bones. Has she got her periods?

She hasn’t had her periods since probably around may/June that was one of the first signs that things were going downhill.

i will try and speak to her about getting checked out it’s just a difficult discussion to have and she is doing so much better mentally. She went back to 6th form Wednesday and said it was the first time in a long time she wasn’t freezing or tired and is realising what an impact it was having on her with school too. She is an A/A* student and constantly strives for perfection and I think a part of the food restriction was being in control.

She has just this week upped her food, she was initially eating what I would call normal food in her 3 meals and had added a pudding over Xmas period but this week she has also just added snacks in between too, I think because she is getting the hunger pangs back properly.

She wears an Apple Watch and her heart rate has improved already but like I say I will see if I can get her in the doctors for a check up. Thank you

So sorry your DD is coping with this.
When she goes to the Gp, it’s important they get bloods taken. At such a low weight, restricted diet and with her heart possibly suffering too, she may need supplements to help get her nutrients back up to what they should be.

If her diet isn’t varied enough, you can even overdose on certain supplements, so it’s really best to ask the GP for a referral to a specialist eating disorder dietician too.