I can’t stop

[Nc830]

So I think I may have an eating disorder. I’ve been through a really traumatic time this past year, just one thing after another. When I was a child, I had disordered eating caused by my abusive step mum controlling what I could eat and I was underweight and got ill.

I’ve put on 4 stone in the last 12 months, my stomach hurts and I feel sick a lot of the time from the amount of food and sugar I eat. I probably have a minimum of 4000 calories a day, not active at all. None of my clothes fit me anymore.

the thing is I’m not even thinking when I eat. I just like the taste of food, I’m not even hungry. I eat till I make myself feel sick.

what do I do now?

I'm like that if I don't eat low carb.

It's miserable isn't it.

I'm not a psychologist but it could be a reverse thing where when you was a child your food was so controlled. Now when you are going through hard times you are reaching for food for comfort and almost rebeliously eating. I was the same as a child my mother was very controlling so as an adult I've had very out of control moments. Not with food but generally. You seem the same with food. It's just thought but I could be totally off here. I'd call the doctors and ask for CBT therapy. Do you have emotional support from any friends or family? xx

I'm no expert but its pretty clear you need some professional counselling. You know you have a problem & want to change - that's great. You can't do it alone though without unravelling what is at the root of your behaviour around food. Seek out freedom from the diet cycle podcast in the meantime.. it's a good start. Good luck.

Completely ignoring the psychological side of this would there be anyway to limit the availability of the food. I'm not overweight but if I know there are goodies in the house i find it difficult not to want to eat it. I can't understand why I think like that but I do.

Could you get someone else to do the shopping and look after meal planning. I wouldn't think you should try and jump straight into dieting but just concentrate on trying to stop or minimise the binging.

I think you really need professional help.
I recently cut down what I eat, by deciding one day that I had enough. Once I made up my mind, I found it really easy to the routine and not over eat like I used to. It was weird, I never had strong will power.
On the other hand, I smoke. And no matter how much I want to give up, I can't. So I assume I can't do it myself, I need professional help. I know not having it at home won't help, because I tolerate for while and give in and go get them in the end. Addiction is so hard to get rid of.