My 8yo is saying he hates his body and thinks he’s fat

[Lotts76]

Please can anyone give me some advice, my 9yo son has started to be become upset about his body, saying he’s fat and he needs to change his shape, namely his tummy. It’s heartbreaking to hear this, he’s perfect and not overweight whatsoever. He’s tall for his age and head and shoulders above most of the other kids in his class but he’s certainly not overweight. I’ve obviously tried reassuring him but he will not listen. His class are due to start swimming lessons next term and he’s crying most nights worrying about having to wear swimming trunks in front on everyone.

He already suffers from social anxiety and is incredibly shy so isn’t that confident at the best of times. I’m beside myself with worry now and don’t know where to turn for help, it’s heartbreaking to know he’s even thinking like this, let alone worrying and crying about it. Any suggestions or personal experience would be so appreciated. TIA

Hi @Lotts76 I hope you don’t mind me posting on your thread after all this time, how is everything now with your son? I hope you got some help in real life. I stumbled across your thread as I’m currently experiencing the same with my DD who is a similar age.

I'm sorry no one replied to you. How did you get on? We had a similar problem with our daughter when she was 7. I spoke to her teacher about it and the teacher acted immediately and did some specific PSHE lessons about being fit and healthy and what that meant etc. It really helped as we could always focus on the healthy and what that means part. We still have problems with my daughter - now 8 - but I keep a constant eye on it and try to reassure all the time etc. I'm dreading her turning into a teenager.

Sorry I just saw this thread.

I would like to share my experience with you to reduce ur anxiety & offer support.

My daughter since starting secondary school went through a period of hating her body. Socially withdrawing & not wanting to go places. 4 yrs on she developed a eating disorder. Her health rapidly declined with phosphate, potassium & sodium deficiency which is normal in people with eating disorders.

We were turned away from CHAMs 4 yrs prior to this because I was concerned about her moods, lack of social interaction & sitting in her room constantly. She also had great difficulty settling into secondary school. After all this I realised that my child had been suffering with poor mental health which creates low self esteem hence the eating disorder prior to start secondary school. She was also not an easy child growing up, always had tantrums & was generally quite grumpy! Therefore I believe she had in fact had a undiagnosed condition because she was well behaved at school and very bright.

My point is, children go through so many different stages in their lives. The hardest one is where they have negative body image, this is linked to poor self esteem. My advice would be see GP & get referral for help like CBT before it develops into a eating disorder. I did try to nip my daughters issue earlier but I was turned away from CHAMs. Who asked her if she felt like killing herself. My daughter answered no so they didn't see any issues. Huge mistake & their service is very poor if the problem isn't obvious.

She was referred to the eating disorder team by our GP after I forced her to doctors. The team were absolutely amazing. I found it that so many children suffer with negative body image including boys. They provided strategies for myself and daughter to manage the condition. It was a very hard journey. I stopped studying & put all my attention into my daughter helping her recover. She's is now 16 this weekend and a fabulous beautiful girl. She's still recovering but I talk to her on her bad days and together we manage her anxiety around food and days were she says she fat considering she's a 5 ft 8inch & a size a 8.

Please access all the help for your son, even if his problem seems minor. It will be worth it in the long run I promise ❤️

Plz message me if you are interested in any services available if he a still suffering. Sometimes it's part of growing up & learning about our bodies. Hormones and social media play a big role in the way children view themselves. Unfortunately what we see on TikTok and instagram is all artificial rubbish and surgical procedures but kids truly think that's the Morden day look. I have no issues with people doing fillers and Botox and getting teeth done or bum jobs with fat sucked out of tummy. But it is very damaging for the younger viewers!