Need some support- 13 year old with Anorexia

[WozzD]

Sorry -this could be a long one

Our daughter has been admitted to the hospital to have the 10 day re-feed protocol. I just can’t believe we are here. She has only had disordered eating for 3 months.
Back story- Started making healthy choices and exercising back in Feb. No major red flags for a few weeks. Then as the weeks went on lots of restrictions started. Found lots of lunches in her room that she had just stuffed in her bags. As her restrictions ramped up I became increasingly concerned and had many chats with her (I have some knowledge of teenage MH due to job). Thought I could pull her out of the disordered eating by appealing to her love of science.

Then we got COVID for the first time. Daughter first and said she couldn’t eat. I thought she was having me on but I got it - and couldn’t eat either. After that she says she just couldn’t pull herself out of it. As she couldn’t exercise she really restricted food and cut right down in water intake. That was about 7 weeks ago. Then last weekend she refused water for 3 days. I had booked a GP appointment for this week anyway to start the ball rolling and get a referral for therapy. GP got really angry at her and admitted us straight to hospital. Her hands & feet were purple. Hospital ran some tests and admitted her as vitals really not good. Then ED team decided to start the re feeding protocol.

I just can’t believe we are here after such a short time. She has lost a lot of weight, but wasn’t in the unhealthy range- I had obviously not noticed how sick she was. Drs can’t believe it has been such a short time too. They say it affects everyone differently and she obviously isn’t someone that has a long time to hang around with this.

We are on day 2 and so far no refusals- but under no illusions when they increase tomorrow it will be hard. I am hopping because it’s relatively short period of illness it’s going to be easier to unpick it all mentally for her. Still will have lots of work to do.

Has anyone had any experience of this? I am devastated and need a hand to hold.

Hi there
I am so sorry you are going through this. You may find this thread helpful
www.mumsnet.com/talk/eating_disorders/4471980-Teen-Eating-Disorders-Thread-6?flipped=1

Also, I would have a look at Orri's instagram page and vimeo channel. They are a private service for over 16s but many of their resources, posts and blogs are very helpful for the sufferer and their loved ones.

Vimeo - vimeo.com/orriuk
Website (social media links are on here) - www.orri-uk.com/orri-together-online/?utm_campaign=Online+Treatment&utm_source=adwords&utm_medium=ppc&utm_term=&hsa_net=adwords&hsa_ver=3&hsa_ad=587714250631&hsa_src=g&hsa_mt=&hsa_acc=8613226101&hsa_cam=14157400796&hsa_kw=&hsa_grp=132460044226&hsa_tgt=dsa-1623200531434&gclid=Cj0KCQjw1N2TBhCOARIsAGVHQc7Qf_bg8YZg0OShXC9-K5G1ZFE23svzjE1v05Jms_a5JZB7HuzPAyAaAphGEALw_wcB

I have experience of Anorexia and all I can say is your DD needs love, care and to feel safe. She will lash out at you and say things she doesn't mean - but you will get through this and come out the other side.

Sending you love and best wishes.

Thank you Havehope… I feel numb and shocked in equal measure.xx

There’s also a Facebook group with (unfortunately) many parents going through the same struggles. It’s called EDSUK.

Hello OP,

I am so very sorry to hear of your DD's situation. You must be absolutely reeling.

My DD(11) doesn't have an ED as her primary diagnosis but she is dealing with another very serious mental heath condition that impacts her eating as a consequence.

Like your DD, the onset was terrifyingly fast and she went from being essentially healthy (although looking back the signs were there) to completely non-functional (barely able to move, school was utterly impossible, couldn't leave the house) in just a few weeks. Also like your DD, it was having covid that seemed to push her into this horrifying spiral.

We are now a few months on from that awful awful time and she is doing really well. I basically became her full time therapist (had a couple of months off work) and she is back at school and doing OK.

When she was bad I honestly couldn't see how she could ever come back from it, it was that bad. We still have a long recovery ahead but I have hope.

I just wanted to share my story because I have often thought exactly what you said - that the speed on onset made it easier to unpick, because the neural pathways hasn't been so firmly fixed in her brain.

Best wishes to your DD for her recovery.

That sounds heartbreaking and terrifying @WozzD . Please get all the help, support and information you can get your hands on. I have nothing useful to add other than wishing you and your family strength and healing.

Thank you for everyone for taking the time to reply. Thanks for the recommendation NotDonna and the kind words MeltingCoffee.

Sorry to hear of your daughter’s struggles PastaandPesto. I am so glad that your daughter is making progress. It gives me hope that my daughter might get through it. I have been signed off for the rest of the academic year (education) so I can fight this head on.

@WozzD have you joined us on Teen Eating Disorders - Thread 6 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/eating_disorders/4471980-Teen-Eating-Disorders-Thread-6?
It's a horrible situation. This time last year dd was admitted to hospital unexpectedly. She was there for 10 days and was horrible. But it was the beginning of turning things around and she's now doing her a levels ready to go to uni. The thread I've put was truly a lifesaver.

How are things going OP?

I wish I knew what to say.

My daughter (14) has had anorexia since she was 11. She has been in and out of recovery so she has never been hospitalised. She is really trying but it is getting worse again.

I feel helpless. The only thing to do is ask how you can help... but my DD says she just doesn't know. So it is hard. I can't force her to get better, I can only listen and support her... but I understand how hard it is to feel powerless.