The curse of the Easter Bunny - binge eating

[GluttonousGorgoyle]

Went to Aldi today and like an idiot bought a million Easter chocolate treats for DD (and potentially any of her friends we might see in April). That was really my intention. I'd somehow totally forgotten what a sugar addicted (currently sugar abstinent in a last ditch effort) glutton i am.

However, now I've got all this chocolate at home and the glutton in me keeps screaming "eat eat EAT!!". I know if I have just one little piece I'll scoff the whole lot down. The same happened over Christmas. It started with a harmless little Christmas cookie and bham, I put on three kg in a month. Kept gorging on the chocolate gifts I'd bought to give other people. Yeah, I know, pathetic.

I just went downstairs and managed to come back up again without touching any of the little Easter treats I bought but then had to fight off a box of Ferrero Rochers that I'd randomly on the window sill in the upstairs landing to be tidied up later. I must have picked it up and put it down again a dozen times before I managed to run into the bedroom.

I've made it into bed now but I can't keep fighting this for another month. All it takes is for the tiredness to just pass that little threshold or a tiny little negative emotion raising it's head and I'll be back in binge city. Maybe I should just throw away all the chocs but I need Easter chocs for DD.

This is so pathetic but what should I do?

(Please no "just have s little piece and stop" remarks. I don't work that way. I've tried but after decades of dealing with my disordered eating I need to accept that this will just never work for me).

[glitteringfishy]

Ah I really feel you. I’m in recovery from anorexia and struggle with binging and purging. Christmas/Easter are a nightmare if you have food issues. Does anyone close to you know you are fighting this? My DS bought home a load of Easter chocolate from his granny’s the other day and I had to ask my DH to hide it, from me not my son! I feel huge shame around having to ask, I’ve been in recovery for years, but big ‘forbidden’ sweet items remain a huge trigger for me. However I know the shame I feel in asking for help to remove the trigger foods is less than that I would feel if I ate it and purged. I hate having to live in such fear of food and I can really hear that in your post too. For me, I know that complete abstinence from any kind of food leads to binges - I know that, ideally, I want to be able to incorporate all foods, including chocolate, into my diet so I don’t have urges to binge. What has helped me the most is eating regularly - 3 meals, 3 snacks - regular intervals throughout the day, at least enough calories to maintain your weight. I stick to this religiously. It’s so, so hard.

[glitteringfishy]

Sorry, hit post before I’d quite finished! I was going to say, if it were me - I would give the Easter goodies to someone else to look after - a month is a long time to be with this fear. But I understand it’s so hard to confide in someone, it can feel so shameful. I’m sorry you’re struggling with this, I really do understand the nightmare of it all.

[SNUG2022]

Get them out of the house. Blame it on the kids finding them. I nearly bought some today, but then remembered I would eat them all. You could put them in the car for now??

[GluttonousGorgoyle]

Thanks both..I remarkably (for me) managed to resist the chocs yesterday night but today while having an unpleasant conversation with my mum I caved. I ate all the Easter bunnies and half a box of Ferrero Rocher and now I feel sick.

I've told dh in the past to hide sweets from me but he's away at the moment and I can't tell anyone else. I can't even tell dh the extent of my problem. I'm too ashamed. And we are struggling anyway at the moment with our msrrisge so actually I can't talk to him about anything at all.

@glitteringfishy I'm sorry you are struggling yourself fishy. It just never leaves you isn't it? It's like I checked into hotel California aged 16 and now I can never leave. I'm in my forties.

Uugh...I feel so sick. I hate Ferrero Rochers.

Can I just start again? From now?.just because I fell.off the wagon doesn't mean I can't start again right? It gets harder every time. Everytime I fall my resolve for the next round reduces.

I think my psychiatrist (for ADHD) has referred me for counseling. That might help..or I think she said I need to self refer? Oh damn I haven't been able to do that in tej years and now I don't even know what she said last time. It requires a long form to be filled out and I just can't do it. I've tried. Uggh I feel so sick


@Snug, keeping them in the car is a genius idea. Thank you. I will do that (with whatever is left).