Teen Eating Disorders - Thread 5

[myrtleWilson]

Welcome everyone,
Our last thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/eating_disorders/4279530-Teen-Eating-Disorders-Thread-4?watched=1&msgid=111172926#111172926

That we're on thread 5 in about a year is a reflection of the incredible increase in mental health issues, including eating disorders amongst young people over the last couple of years.

With that in mind, we thought we'd try to include some resources that have helped us along the way to date. No one resource will be a panacea but hopefully this list will be a useful starting off point for any newcomers and a reflection for others. It is our first go at sharing a list of resources on a thread so it won't be perfect!

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk

anorexiafamily.com/?v=79cba1185463

www.youtube.com/evamusby

www.youtube.com/channel/UCa7G1P5WQopVMc9qTSP_lgA

www.orri-uk.com

www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/eating-disorders/overview/

www.stgeorges.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Junior-MARSIPAN-Risk-Assessment-Framework.pdf

People to look up on social media
Hope Virgo
Ro-Recovering
James Downs
Cara Lisette
Adam Fare
BarefootRebel
Ilona Burton

Girlie hope Covid is not too bad for your DD

Betty - great news on a gain!

dark how are you doing?

Just wanted to come on here and say that you are all doing a fantastic job. I was diagnosed with anorexia years ago, and am living proof that you can FULLY recover (despite being told it will be something I live with and need to manage…how unhelpful to hear that!). Like you all, I had supportive parents. I highlight recommend checking out Tabitha Farrar’s blog and book, rehabilitate, rewire recover. And please check out Beat’s website for support

@Rollergirl11 you're not a fraud! Last week she was doing really well and she will do really well again - that is still the absolute truth. And this week? Well, it's a blip but these will always happen. You've got to think of the trajectory which is brilliant.

And well done you for spotting it so quickly. There's no reason that it won't get back on track. DD's therapist has told us that's she terrified that when she recovers, we'll abandon her while she still needs help. It's so sad because as we keep telling her we'll look after and worry about her for the whole of her life, that's what parents do and we'd be doing it without the ED. I wonder whether your DD was subconsciously or otherwise trying to remind you of this. I'm not saying you needed reminding but she might have perceived this to be true.

@Fullrecoveryispossible thank you so much for coming on. Is there anything that you think helped you in particular to recover? Other than the two very useful recommendations. DD has said she's going to restrict as soon as term ends (this happened in the summer) but she 'needs' something to force her to eat. Like another bloody piercing apparently.

[quote Valleyofthedollymix]@Fullrecoveryispossible thank you so much for coming on. Is there anything that you think helped you in particular to recover? Other than the two very useful recommendations. DD has said she's going to restrict as soon as term ends (this happened in the summer) but she 'needs' something to force her to eat. Like another bloody piercing apparently.[/quote]
For me, like many I think, it was an 'aha' moment - I had to reach rock bottom, see my life crumbling around until I thought, shit, this is a crap life. It helped to see the rest of my family enjoying their life, eating around me and socialising, as it gave me hope that I could be back there again. Straight talking helped me for (I'm not sure how old your DD is and this book doesn't pander to eating disorder thoughts, its definitely not a softly softly approach!). I read this book, and it was literally the next day where I committed to unrestricted eating and no movement for 6 months (a lot of sufferers have compulsive movement, even if its in the form of cleaning etc.). It really helped that none of my family were weight or diet obsessed themselves, no diet foods in the house, no mention of weight (I never weighed myself in recovery but appreciate that's hard with NHS treatment). I said to myself, if im really miserable in a year, i can always go back to being thin and unhappy. I never followed a meal plan (which I feel is in itself, restrictive...especially when sufferers are dealing with extreme hunger) When I wanted to exercise, I did colouring or watched tv. My parents never questionned my extreme hunger (which is a totally normal process!). And every day, I would look in a mirror and tell myself nice comments. Amazingly, depsite having an ED for so long, I think it took maybe 4 months before I felt really well, and maybe 7 months until i felt recovered!

A quick woohoo from me. They have agreed to up DD's sertraline to 50mg. I am hoping and praying it will be a game changer!!!

@Moomarre that's great news - remember it can get a bit worse on sertraline before it gets better. Fingers crossed

Thanks so much @livingthesimplelife - everyone I know who's recovered just said there was a random moment when they thought, god this is so grim and boring. They realised life had more to offer than not eating did. But it feels like it's hard to force this moment, it seems to spring organically and even arbitrarily.

I like your idea of saying positive things in the mirror - unofficial mantras seem to help DD. At the moment when she's wavering she says 'I'm all-in recovery' which is something she's got from Ro Recovering.

Valley if your dd likes positive affirmations I got my dd some little cards ones that come with a wooden stand like the ones in the pic. I double checked them for anything remotely triggering before giving them to dd though!! She seems to like them.

Well done on spotting the signs of a relapse roller this is one of my fears. Dd is currently allowed a fair bit of freedom with food so I wouldn't necessarily see restriction straight away 😕

Hello everyone - sorry not been on for a while.

@Fullrecoveryispossible thank you for your kind words and hope for better futures. My DD is on her second go at recovery, about a couple of months in.... I'm so pleased you were able to recover from this horrific illness.

@Valleyofthedollymix - affirmations are great -another Ro approach was to create an affirmation/positive image place mat - so photos of places she loves, kind words etc and have the place mat near to bowl/plate when eating.. Also I bought DD a t-shirt with "Thoughts aren't facts" on it from an etsy seller with an ED background.

@Rollergirl11 - well done on spotting it quickly. I think (with no scientific proof) that there will be blips in DD's life, the trick will be initially us spotting it and then DD recognising a blip coming and acting before it hits. I imagine that over time the blips become less frequent....

DD is doing okay - trying very hard to keep on with recovery and has more energy and sass about her now. She LOVES her crystal advent calendar. I emailed the woman I bought it off to make sure there were no "weight loss" crystals. In the new year if all still on track we're going to allow DD to join a barre class to do some strength/toning based movement. We've been very up front with the class and they have been brilliant and suggested DD and I go for a consultation with them, they've offered to email the GP if the GP needs more information on the class etc. I was quite surprised at how proactive and 'on it' they were - it does make such a difference when people "get it"

Hi ladies I could really do with some advice. My DD has been advised by CAMHS to stay off school as she was restricting so much (around 500 calories a day since I started monitoring which was on 8/11; 3 weeks ago). She's been weighed 4 times at GP. She initially lost 7 lbs in 10 days but then a week later 'appears' to have not lost any more - but I wasn't present at the weight in so I don't know if there was some trickery. Since being off school, thurs and fri - she's restricting even more (because she's not doing 10,00 steps any more) so yesterday was 260 cals and thurs 310. Today is not going well, only 100 so far and she's saying she won't eat - I believe her. she had a sleepover to go to but knows she can't go unless she has 3 meals - if that can't persuade her, nothing will. I think I gotta go to a&e but am already imagining it might be a waste of time. her weight is 8 stone and so wfh is about 95% I know there are some advice docs on the FB group re E&E so I am going to look at those now.

I can't understand how wfh can be such a high % when she is so thin.

How olds your dd? I'd take her to a&e, it sounds like the ED has a grip on your dd and you need to show her you mean business.

Are you under an ED team already?

I'd absolutely agree with a&e. Make it clear to them how little is being eaten and if needed ramp everything up to get the help you obviously need.

Totally agree with a and e @NCnora as fast as you can and take the marsipan checklist with you.

@Lougle the ED clinic haven't given me the latest wfh would you be kind enough to do for me please? Will message you.

@NCnora how tall is she?

@DarkBlueEyes, of course.

@NCnora don't get too caught up with WFH - it doesn't mean your DD isn't unwell with a normalish WFH. Her restriction and rate of loss is the more important thing.

Hope you're okay ncnora, my dd was seriously ill at 8 stone so don't be guided by weight or wfh. What's an okay weight for one is a disaster for another.

How's everyone's wend been? It's not been too bad here, dd managed to eat out for lunch Ystd and today. For some reason she finds having lunch out harder than dinner.

She came on this morning and had a melt down as felt bloated, I tried to explain that it's normal for women to feel more bloated at certain times of the month.

But generally things are okay, she's not managed any of her advent chocolate though 😥

Also to add, I think we get conditioned to how our children look. DD1 looked 'normal for her' when she was admitted. The consultant looked quite horrified and her WFH was 68%. But she'd been so slim for so long that it was 'normal'. A child who was slightly heavy then dramatically loses weight will look gaunt at a far higher WFH.

Thanks all. I managed to speak to someone at the CAMHS crisis line on Saturday, who checked the obs DD had done Thursday eve and said a&e wasn't necessarily going to be any help, so we stayed home calm and warm and I just kept encouraging food. I agree that at 8 stone some girls might look fine but my DD (15.5) definitely doesn't, and mentally she's obviously not well. CAMHS have called this morning and have asked for more tests at GP which will hopefully be today. DD is still eating v little, between 200-300 the last 4 days. She's 165cm (just under 5ft 5) and 50.7kg at last weigh-in, though I doubt that was right. I think that means wfh is 94%

@NCnora if she's eating less than 500cals a day they WILL do something. Where are you located? Make sure you take the Marsipan checklist with you. My CAMHS team discouraged me from taking DD to A and E but when I did, she was admitted on the second visit (different hospital local to me but one that knew about the Marsipan) there was no question she was ill.

They will be far more interested in her restriction than her weight. DD1 wasn't admitted because she was 68% WFH. She was admitted because she was aggressively restricting food intake alongside her weight. They would far rather catch her when she's physiologically stable than have a child who is physically very ill as well as in the grip of disorder.

@NCnora - DD restricted to that level and was admitted (although not via A&E) - irrespective of her weight We attended A&E a few times and they were always really considerate of wider picture - Dr's trying to be sure an admission wasn't the answer rather than rebuffing us. That said, I know from these threads that healthcare treatment for ED's does have huge variance across the country.

@NCnora where in the country are you? Someone might be able to recommend a good a&e - I know there were mentions of which ones in London were more likely to admit...

I just can't understand why they would be saying just to keep offering, small meals, keep hydrated etc; but take to a&e if physical signs deteriorate. I kinda felt like I should trust them but I'm so worried. No food or drink today till 6pm. 220 calories. That'll be it today; she's resolute. She's just had obs, bloods & weight done this eve at the GP so those results should be available in a.m. I'll call CAMHS tomorrow but think I'll take her in. Tomorrow will be day 6 of 200-300 calories, before that it was average of 500 for 3 weeks. I can't keep waiting for CAMHS support. I'm in Bristol.

Sorry to be one-way communication, I am popping in to the thread ...and was happy for the lady whose DD had the lollipop and sad for the lady whose DD had a meltdown, just a bit overwhelmed and trying to read books and blogs and get up to speed on this dreadful illness so I can help DD as best I can. In the meantime, her Dad continues to have his head where the sun don't shine....

Re-reading that it sounds so trite; lollipop/meltdown. I totally admire you mums for battling this awful illness and supporting each other at the same time. Thanks for this thread.