Teen Eating Disorders - Thread 5

[myrtleWilson]

Welcome everyone,
Our last thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/eating_disorders/4279530-Teen-Eating-Disorders-Thread-4?watched=1&msgid=111172926#111172926

That we're on thread 5 in about a year is a reflection of the incredible increase in mental health issues, including eating disorders amongst young people over the last couple of years.

With that in mind, we thought we'd try to include some resources that have helped us along the way to date. No one resource will be a panacea but hopefully this list will be a useful starting off point for any newcomers and a reflection for others. It is our first go at sharing a list of resources on a thread so it won't be perfect!

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk

anorexiafamily.com/?v=79cba1185463

www.youtube.com/evamusby

www.youtube.com/channel/UCa7G1P5WQopVMc9qTSP_lgA

www.orri-uk.com

www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/eating-disorders/overview/

www.stgeorges.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Junior-MARSIPAN-Risk-Assessment-Framework.pdf

People to look up on social media
Hope Virgo
Ro-Recovering
James Downs
Cara Lisette
Adam Fare
BarefootRebel
Ilona Burton

Girlie hope Covid is not too bad for your DD

Betty - great news on a gain!

dark how are you doing?

Hi @WreckTangled it sounds like your DD is hearing messages about weight, etc., and healthy diet. At this stage, I would take any pressure to eat off. That sounds bizarre advice, but making eating 'a thing' will just increase stress levels at home and could actually push her into an ED.

I'd just keep a subtle eye on what she's eating and try to get some high calorie savoury snacks in. Peanut butter is a really good stealth food - it looks harmless but has loads of calories and protein. Eggs are great.

Just watch and wait. It might blow over, or she might be having thoughts but not having the willpower to follow through on her thoughts. Either way, if you can avoid raising the issue of ED at this stage, it will be better.

@DarkBlueEyes rest breaks are better than extra time, imo. They can just turn over their paper, de-stress, have a think, clear their mind, then turn the paper back over and restart. The clock stops while they have a rest break and there is no limit on how long they take or how many rest breaks they have.

@WreckTangled low carb isn't unhealthy unless it's also low protein and low fat.

Perhaps chat with her about what the different nutrients do in your body (i.e. fat for your brain, protein for muscles, carbs for energy, etc).

Thanks, we've been doing bright and breezy dinner time talking about what we usually would and not mentioning what she's eating. I know low carb isn't unhealthy per se but she seems to have an obsession with sugar and saying carbs are sugar so she can't eat them.

Thanks for replying, I realise this has only been a few days and I feel so stressed so can't imagine how you all feel. She just seems so down all the time.

She's being the way well plate etc in food tech too so that might have had an affect. I might get one of the school nurses to go in and talk to her and I think the wait for the counsellor is quite long.

Myrtle dd has got her first uni offer though and it does seem to have been a big motivator. We'll just have to see where offers come in from. I'd still love her to be in a small city or a campus where someone can keep a close eye on her.

Hi wreck nice to 'see' you although sorry it's here!! It sounds like your dd has gotten a few mixed up messages about healthy eating and is confused. Unfortunately the government's and schools drive to push 'healthy' eating can be v damaging for the children susceptible to EDs. I personally would be firm 'you have to eat' but also explain that healthy eating is different for different people, what's healthy for you is not healthy for her etc. The most important thing is that she doesn't lose weight, it's the weight loss combined with restriction that can lead to anorexia. It does sound like something has triggered her though? I wonder if someone has said something at school or she's seen something online.

Thanks girlie she's adamant no one has said anything and just responds a lot with 'I don't know' when I ask what's going on. She's so sad and it's pretty heartbreaking to see. She did comment a few weeks back 'I don't know why the school are bothering (with the healthy eating info) as everyone in my year is overweight anyway so she was clearly observing it. She herself isn't but has put on a little and is much more developed than her friends.

Wreck My dd did go through something similar at that age and suddenly decided to eat more healthily. At that time I went with it and she lasted about a week or so and it fizzled out. In hindsight I can see that the potential for an ED was there and for my dd the catalyst needed was lockdown as she had nothing else to focus on. I think it's hard around age 11-13yo as it's completely normal for girls (and boys) to gain weight then. They need the extra weight to grow and go into puberty.

Hi @WreckTangled - it might be worth having a look at Orthorexia by Renee McGregor as it may appear to be heading that way. Orthorexia isn't yet recognised as an ED because professionals hadn't come up with a set diagnostic criteria (there is more about this in the book). As others have said, if she mentions food and weight - I think it would be beneficial to engage in a conversation about how food provides nutrients for the body to function optimally (and is also a key part of social occasions etc). There are lots of changes going on for her age which is a lot to deal with - so keep trying to talk to her and get her to open up with issues at school / how she views herself etc. Hope this helps.

reneemcgregor.com/product/orthorexia-when-healthy-eating-goes-bad/

I would also suggest this person's instagram and website www.instagram.com/isarobinson_nutrition/

Thank you for the links and advice. She started her periods 18 months ago so is well into puberty. She's telling me she just can't eat. Do you think I should make her eat her dinner or just serve it up and then let her leave the table once she's 'done'? I've been hoping it's just a phase but she seems to be getting worse rather than better. She refused a babybel at lunch as it's fattening but ate the sausage roll

At this stage I would try to make food 'not a thing'. If she's refusing Babybel but eating a sausage roll, that's fine. She's still getting protein, fat and carbs. If she's only eating half of dinner, then just make sure that you make that half as calorie dense as you can. Butter and cream are your friends here because they hide easily.

Discreetly monitor for a couple of weeks. As long as she's getting a reasonable amount of calories, then I wouldn't push, because that will really bring it to a head. If she gets to the point that she's simply not eating enough and is losing weight (or growing lots and staying the same weight), then you need to act.

As long as she eats the sausage roll then I think it is fine to let the babybel go. Try not to make a big thing about it but I think you should insist that she eats a balanced meal for breakfast, lunch and supper. No food in itself is 'fattening' - it is about the overall diet and lifestyle choices over an extended period of time. It is tricky because it seems that your DD is suffering from mixed nutrition messages - this could be a phase but could also spiral out of control very quickly. Is there a way that you could make mealtimes fun and inclusive for her - not so that she becomes obsessed with cooking but so that she sees food in a different way to 'fattening' and 'healthy' - e.g. for taste, texture, flavour, memories etc? This is something that has been mentioned before on this thread as for AN parents take full control of the food, but in your case it does seem that you don't want to send her down that route too soon. Perhaps you could suggest things like a weekly themed night where you come up with ideas from around the world - you could do mexican tacos with dips etc and get her involved with making them, talking through the flavours, the dishes etc. Just a thought.

sorry it should have said this is something that HASN"T been mentioned before as for AN it is advised that parents do all the meals without involvement from the DCs until they are a healthier weight.

Incidentally, my advice comes partly from the advice I've been given for my 12 year old. She's turned pescatarian in the last few weeks. The GP said to go with it and just ensure it's balanced.

@WreckTangled that sounds very stressful. Good luck with not making a big deal of it - that's very hard I know!

Thanks everyone am taking all of your suggestions on board. She is point blank refusing breakfast so I'm not sure how I can go about that. I guess I'll just do my best. I go food shopping on a Friday and have asked her twice if there's anything she would like me to buy but haven't got anywhere, will try get her to choose a meal to be involved in making, this is also something my manager (nurse) suggested.

Girlie just wanted to say I think about your dd every year when the fluenz is being administered as I remember what a horrible time she had with flu!

Hello, I'm not sure if I posted about dd before but it will have been a few years ago now - 4 years since 'recovery', unfortunately a long spell of gastric problems for which she is still on the referral list and looking like she'll be waiting a long while have triggered the cycle again.
Dd has lost a stone since July and was already tiny - partly due to Ed but mostly her constant diarrhoea, not sure what I'm looking for really, probably just a hand hold and somewhere to share my thoughts

Hey @alsonotmyname - sorry you're back on the merry-go-round.

If you don't mind sharing, what are your DD's gastric issues - my DD has similar and has been seen by consultant for first option of treatment (irrigation)

Constant diarrhoea whatever she eats or drinks...so she doesn't want to have anything and began restricting if she was at school or out for the day and then binging when home and had access to the toilet

Hi all,

I have been reading the thread and I have found some strange comfort in hearing your stories, I send you all such love as this is the most difficult and emotional time.

My daughter is 13 (birthday was in the summer). I first noticed weight loss and disordered eating in April this year. Reasons similar to a lot of the girls on here I imagine- personality type, school, lock down etc.

Cut a long story short we have had numerous interventions, inc one hospital stay and are now under NHS care with the Maudsley.

I feel we have turned a corner and she is eating well (on prob about 2900 calories and eating a range of food). She is now putting weight on at average of .5kg a week (too slow for the Maudsley but that’s another story!)

She has always been very very slight and has a small frame. Her W/H was 68% when she was hospitalised and is now 70%. Even when her weight was at its lowest - there was never any issues with her bloods, physical issues (apart from cold hands), hair falling out, She had energy, was never dizzy etc. The doctors were always surprised that she wasn’t physically worse than she was.

School has never been a good place for her, she isn’t being bullied but hasn’t particularly connected with friends and is very anxious and nervous about going back there (she is year 9). I am worried too as going being to school in September really triggered a decline with her eating and mood.

The doctor and the school are really pushing for her to go back (she has been off school for 3 weeks- one week was hospital stay). My daughter is saying she isn’t ready and can’t cope. I feel stuck in the middle and don’t know what to do for the best.

What would you suggest?

Hey everyone, I’ve kind of fallen off the thread these last few weeks. Hope everyone is okay and sorry you find yourself here to all the newcomers.

Thought I’d give a bit of an update. DD is doing really well. We are about to be discharged from the CEDS service on Monday. Our GP has agreed to continue DD’s fluoxetine prescription which they have advised her to continue with for 6-12 months. I think we will get DD through her GCSE’s next May/June and then hopefully think about coming off.

Her eating is really good. She’s pretty much free eating but has chosen to stick with 3 meals and 2 snacks (one mid morning at school and one when she returns from school). She is having takeaways and is back to socialising with her friends. I have dropped down to weighing her every couple of weeks. She still doesn’t want to know what she is and I’m fine with that.

She has her school ski trip coming up in December which has been rearranged from Feb half term of Year 10. They are going to France for a week (back on Christmas Eve which is giving me heart palpitations!). Back in the summer I didn’t think she’d be well enough to go but she has made amazing progress. She’s a bit nervous about it but more about being rubbish at skiing then about anything else.

I am taking her and 2 friends to see Sam Fender at Ally Pally tomorrow night. This gig was meant to be this time last year but was rearranged because of Covid. Yet again I was doubtful that she’d be in the right frame of mind to go but she can’t wait. They are going in to London a bit early to do some shopping, take in the Christmas lights and she’s told me they will grab a McDonald’s before heading to Alexandra Palace to meet me.

She has her mocks the week after next and she’s been doing tons a revision for the last month so I think she will be fine. This is in stark contrast to her end of year exams in the summer where she was having daily panic attacks.

I am so pleased with her. She is still having her weekly therapy sessions with our private therapist. She thinks that DD has moved passed the ED but that she will always have the nasty inner voice that tells her she’s not good enough. This horrible inner voice will try and manifest itself in different ways at different times in her life. She needs to learn not to listen to it. This is what DD needs to work on going forward.

So finally after an absolutely shocking 7 months I feel that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep on keeping on you wonderful ladies!

Tangled I think I'd keep her off a bit longer, that's still a really low wfh even for a small frame. I'd concentrate on getting the weight on and then maybe think about her going back after Christmas.

Roller what an amazing update, that is incredible progress. Was there a correlation between getting to a certain wfh and your dd mentally improving? Or do you think it was the antidepressants that made the difference?

roller that is amazing - well done you and DD! How AWESOME!

I've just ordered DD a weighted blanket - she still finds sleep difficult. In the depths of anorexia turning over would hurt so much - it felt like her skin was tearing. She doesn't have that pain now but still wakes every time she moves so we're trying a weighted blanket..

In other news she asked today how I'd feel about her moving out into a student house with two people she worked with...Obviously it won't work for a gazillion reasons but on the one hand I guess its good she's trying on an independent persona, on the other hand - OMG!!

@tangledzebra my DD was 68% WFH when admitted to hospital, too. She used a wheelchair and was on bed rest until she was 80% WFH. She returned to school at 85% WFH but no PE. PE once 90% WFH. It was still a real struggle once she returned to school.

Thank you @Lougle and @Girliefriendlikespuppies. That is my feeling as well but the doctor and school feel she should be back at school now as she is ‘medically well’. When I try to put my side across they say that she is avoiding school- she is tbf but only because it feels too much at the moment. It’s hard to get them to listen to me.

Tangled there's a massive discrepancy across services, Betty had a huge battle to get services to agree to her dd going back to school at a much higher wfh than your dd is! Trust your instincts and keep her off.