Eating disorder whilst pregnant, ADHD in child

[OoppAndDownRoundAndRound]

I'm on my 3rd CBT appointment for an ED and see a dietrician weekly. I was diagnosed in April but have been like this for years but not realised

I had a meeting with school last week to discuss my 4 year old moving into reception in September. They said he is going to need additional support and if things dont improve they want to look for an assessment of ADHD

I have suspected it for a long time but grew up being told ADHD was just for lazy parents and naughty kids

Reading about it and ADHD can be caused by a low birth weight and a premature birth. I had to be induced with my son because he had stopped growing, he was born at 37 weeks ( v traumatic labour ) and weighed 4lb 9oz. It's only just clicked this week when it came up on my facebook memories that I'd only gained 3lb during my entire pregnancy.

I didnt know I was unwell back then but looking back I clearly was

I am so so upset and disgusted in myself that its affected my little boy. I cant believe it. I feel so horrible.

I dont even know the point of this thread, I just feel so guilty

Hs is such a nice kind sweet loving boy but he is so impulsive and can be so violent,

I tried my hardest not to let my poison drip into my kids and I xant believe it got to him anyway, before he was even born. I am so disgusted in myself I just feel horrible

It’s not your fault. Low birth weight/early birth is not a cause of ADHD- it’s just that people are at higher risk. With most things like this no one knows for sure, but they think a lot is down to genetics.
Your son was a bit small, but I had friends (and my own sister) who were born at 36 weeks plus and they were only a few ounces heavier, and their mums ate normally. Or in my mum’s case, a high chocolate cake diet! There are people who hardly eat at all during pregnancy, eg those with extreme sickness. If you’d not realised you had an ED I’m assuming you were not dangerously underweight when you got pregnant?

My ds has adhd. I had hyperemisis through pregnancy. But there could be a million reasons why. .

The blame game helps no one, looking up and understanding parenting a child with adhd is far more useful to your ds.

Look up Gabor Mate.

The basic thing is, even if you didn’t have an ED the same thing would have been likely to happen. You didn’t cause your sons issues/ADHD. See how the support goes, it might help resolve the situation. It’s good that the school are being proactive. Don’t beat yourself up…every parent of every child with a health, psychological, behavioural problem or disability always rakes over everything they’ve done, looking for the cause and usually pin it on themselves (I have such a child). Believe me, there is always something we can have done “wrong”. I’m in a support group for parents of children with my sons condition and there are always people blaming themselves, for differing reasons! With issues where there is no clear cause, it’s easy to do.

Its a bit of an eye opener but I've found it very helpful.

Don’t blame yourself! Adhd can be caused by anything. My child was born a healthy weight, I didn’t drink or smoke etc but they still were born with adhd. It’s actually quite likely that somewhere in your family, someone else has adhd too.

I was over 8lb at birth and have ADD

Don't beat yourself up too much