From being a teenager I was really said that my belly wasn't flat. I went out and exercised as much as possible. Since then my thoughts about my body has been on my mind. I hate summer because I can't cover up but even in colder weather I'm still looking at myself and my legs in shop windows to see if I'm still looking thin. I have cut down my eating alot of times by I eat 2 small meals a day alot of the time or 1 and a snack. I did put weight on during lockdown but upto a size 10-12, yet I still feel big. I'm not vain or anything. I just can't love myself unless I'm really thin. I don't know why. I follow people who are all about self love and loving your body no matter what. But I still can't help but think I must not eat much so I can feel better and not think I look fat.
What the hell is wrong with me?