Triggered by lodger - what would you do?

[RubyD]

Hello! I seem to be the fount of awkward situations.

So I used to have an eating disorder and I feel quite triggered recently.

My lodger has a difficult relationship with food too and keeps commenting about how little she is eating and how much she is exercising right now.

Like "I walked 9 miles today so I am going to have one egg".

I have told her before that we don't talk about weight in our house (she used to tell me how she was 'fat' in front of my young daughter - she isn't) and why but she forgets.

Argh, so awkward as feel I am making a big deal out of nothing. Would you say anything? I am aware that lockdown is making people more extreme and I probably sound just as mad!

I haven't felt like this for a very long time and I don't want to set off more madness but already thinking about buying laxatives and how to cut down my portions. Weighing myself every day and hating what I see.

Help!!

Hi @RubyD I'm not sure I have much good advice. I've been doing really well but the lockdown and pandemic generally the last year is constantly on the verge of triggering me.
I am thinking more about calories than I have done in a very long time. And worried I'm going down the same road. It's so warm and inviting.
It makes me sad that I'm still so drawn in.
I wish I had good advice but I don't. Just know that I empathise.

I would get a new lodger. This is too dangerous for you, and by extension, your DD. She is unlikely to change.

She seems quite happy. She does eat but not a lot. I just want to tell her so she doesn’t say those things when I’m around. I am now comparing how much we eat and how much heavier I am..

You've asked her not to. She is still doing it. I'd ask her to leave.

@Alonelonelyloner thank you for replying ans sorry you feel the same x

Honestly now this has happened, she needs to move out. Even if she stops you will be watching what she’s eating. You have a child and Your own health is too important IMO

Ps you may need support to get past this, because you already know your weight doesn’t define you, and laxatives don’t help. Your body is healthy, it works, food should be enjoyed it brings energy to run around with your child. Remember the good stuff, and get help to remember it if you need it

Ask her to leave. Please.

I would ask her to leave. The risk created by her saying these things is just not worth it.

Ask her to leave.

She is breaking your house rules and putting your health at risk.

You and your health are more important than her.

Despite you specifically asking her not to talk about this in your house, and in front of your daughter - she continues to do so?

She would be asked to leave at the end of her notice period