Swinging between restricted eating and binging. Can anyone offer advice please?

[Middlebutton]

I’m really struggling. I have always had a problematic relationship with food and had periods of severely restricting what I eat (and love being skinny) but then being completely unable to maintain this and binge. Today I have eaten so much chocolate it’s ridiculous. I feel too ashamed to tell anyone irl.
Can anyone offer any advice where to start to address this? Therapy is not an option currently due to lockdown/kids at home. Wondered if there are websites/books anyone can recommend? Thank you.

Overcoming Binge Eating by Christopher Fairburn might be useful to you. It's a self help book based on CBT principles. It all centres on the idea that restriction leads to hunger, which triggers a binge, which makes you feel guilty and then leads you to restrict again. To combat that, planned regular eating is advised to decrease urges to binge. Obviously there is a lot more to it than that but I think the book is helpful and gives some really good practical steps.

I'm in a helpful Facebook community, it's called Call Me Maureen.

Good luck @Middlebutton - I'm still a long way from resolving my own issues with this. My resolution this year is to find a happy middle ground.

I also recommend overcoming binge eating by Fairburn

I found "Brain over Binge" by Kathryn Hansen useful (it has little exercises to do that are similar to CBT), and also books on intuitive eating such as "Just Eat It" were helpful.

Like what @Rustnot says above, my doctor basically described the cycle as 1. deliberately overrestricting food to lose weight or in response to a binge; 2. the body reaching a point where it is completely underresourced food-wise; 3. the body overriding whatever willpower being used to restrict as it needs food; 4. binge eating as the body's way to refuel itself - and repeat. If you can move to eating regular meals which provide you with enough food, your body eventually realises it is being adequately fuelled and the urge to binge will calm down.

I am currently in therapy for binge eating disorder where the first step was to regulate my eating (3 meals a day and 3 snacks, no calorie counting etc) and haven't binged since the end of September, so there is hope! Best of luck to you

Thank you so much to you all for such lovely replies. That cycle absolutely makes sense, though it’s hard to see when you are in the midst of it. I will lol I tot hose recommendations thank you so much.

That should say I will look into those recommendations! Thank you

Also recommend Dr Fairburn’s. Book. Practical baby steps.

I don’t know how to do a link, but this organisation are looking for volunteers for their study
www.credo-oxford.com/5.1.html

I highly recommend "just eat it" by Laura Thomas Phd and another similar book called "The fuck it diet" by Caroline something or other..

The principals of both books are similar.. restriction causes binging, undereating causes overeating.. I have been binge free since august and will never look back!

Interested in this thread. I generally follow slimming world but am currently 10lb over my ideal weight. I have days where I am really good and days where is just eat for no reason. For instance I had a healthy lunch today then ate 2 packs of crisps, half a pack of rich tea & 2 choc biscuit bars. I don’t even know why I do it.
Anyway, I like the idea of the 3 meals and 3 snacks principal. Out of interest what sort of things do you eat? I’m terrible for wanting unhealthy food but I wonder if that is why I binge as I try to deny myself it. Then I think fk it and will overeat. It’s hard to know where to start. I just want to have a ‘normal’ relationship with food. Eat healthily and not overeat and feel bad if I go out for a meal or we have a takeaway.

Hmm. I have mainly stopped bingeing by eating healthy, portion-controlled meals three times a day and never letting myself get really hungry.

But ... I still want to binge. I would still like to eat 6 slices of pizza instead of three. I would still like to scoff the entire chocolate bar instead of eating 2 squares. I still want a second helping of whatever dinner is (and maybe a third helping).

I am not hungry. I am not underfeeding myself. I am not on any strict diet. But I still want to binge. I think, to be honest, I will always want to do that, especially with unhealthy foods. That said, since sorting out my eating, I want to binge waaay less often, and I very rarely do.

It's a tough one!

I don't go by 3 meals and 3 snacks as this is a food rule, and I don't do food rules. I use the principal of honouring my hunger and stopping when I feel full. I have found any type of food restriction or deprivation triggers a binge for me so nothing is off the table. On that note I haven't had a binge in over 6 months because the food I used to binge on doesn't hold the same appeal to me anymore. I don't crave it as I don't restrict it.

A normal day for me now involves thinking very little about food. I start to feel hungry at different times of the day, I have a think about what I fancy, what will satisfy me and I eat it. That's it. I forget about it until I feel hungry again.

Yesterday I had wheetabix minis for breakfast with coffee. Around midday I had a bagel with ham and a bag of quavers. Between then and dinner I had 3 party rings with a cup of tea and for my dinner I had couscous, eggs and coleslaw with bacon. Sounds random but it was what I fancied and I enjoyed it.

What have you based your idea weight on? Lots of studies have shown that each persons body has a "set point" weight that it sits comfortably at, and will fight to return to. Excessive dieting and restriction has shown to increase set point weights so in the long run we could be doing more harm than good by trying to force ourselves to a weight that our body isn't comfortable at. The books recommended above are all an excellent way to dip your toe into the principals of intuitive eating and ditching the diet mentality. It's basically a journey of self love and learning to trust your own body above all the apps and "plans".

Thanks @PopUpName
I think I’ll focus on the healthy eating of meals and snacks rather than trying to drop weight quickly. Hopefully like you say, this will help stop the bingeing & if I put in place rules such as only 1 pack of crisps & enjoy them rather than wolfing down 3 packs of crisps. Maybe some mindful eating will help.

@Opensesame1 I think you make a good point around food rules. The structure of 3 meals and 3 snacks is a helpful tool to use whilst trying to stop binges that are caused by hunger. The end goal is to eventually shift to the way of eating you describe.

I think moving on from binge eating and losing weight are issues that are best tackled separately. Gaining control over the binges may or may not lead to significant weight loss, but once the binging is under control, you'll probably find yourself in a better position emotionally to manage weight loss, if that is still something you want to do.