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Eating disorders

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What’s going on with my behaviour?

4 replies

GinaG678 · 08/12/2020 21:03

Every now and then, I will eat too much and if I feel uncomfortably full, I will make myself sick. I’m posting because I feel really confused about this and unsure whether it’s something I need to address or if it’s completely harmless.
I’ve definitely had times in my life where I’ve restricted foods and times when I’ve lost a lot of weight. I’m at a strange phase now where I really don’t feel comfortable in my body, but want to become pregnant again so I feel like what’s the point losing weight. I’m not overweight I’m about a size 10 but feel more myself at a size 8. I lost a baby quite far into pregnancy this year and then also had another earlier miscarriage a couple months after so I’ve been through a lot this year.

This pattern of behaviour has been on and off for a couple of years. I may not do this for months on end even a year. I would say I’ve had 2-3 episodes in the past few months. But the thing is I never plan to eat too much and never plan to be sick. I just eat too much then feel really full and to relieve the discomfort I’ll be sick then feel better. Part of me says this is totally fine - you just ate too much so you’re making yourself feel better. I never plan to be sick to rid myself of calories, it’s more for the physical feeing of discomfort. Would appreciate anyone’s thoughts as I feel confused about it. I suppose deep down I don’t think it’s an overly healthy thing to be doing but just don’t know if it’s something to be worried about or if I’m over reacting

OP posts:
GinaG678 · 12/12/2020 23:15

Bump please

OP posts:
Girliefriendlikespuppies · 12/12/2020 23:21

Hi Gina it does sound like you have some issues with food and over eating and then making yourself sick is typically bulimic type behaviour.

Your best bet would be to talk to someone in rl about it, some counselling may be helpful.

GinaG678 · 12/12/2020 23:27

@Girliefriendlikespuppies thanks for replying.
I bumped this after making myself sick again tonight :( that’s the second time this week.
It’s just so strange as I feel like I only do it because I hate feeling so full up. To me I always thought bulimia was only throwing up to get rid of calories. But I know this isn’t healthy and it’s upsetting me that a) I’m overeating in the first place and b) throwing up in secret as I know my husband would think it’s strange and worrying.
I really don’t want this to become a thing so need to try and work on it

OP posts:
Girliefriendlikespuppies · 13/12/2020 16:37

It's about purging instead of dealing with emotions, ED really don't have much to do with calories when you get to the bottom of it.

I'd invest in some counselling or confide in a trusted friend who can support you.

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