So glad you posted this. I too have a 13 year old daughter who I have noticed is eating less and less. She too has never had a big appetite and has never eaten breakfast (I have never forced this as I don't eat breakfast either. I need to be awake for a while before I can eat, she is the same) but I always sent her to school with stuff to eat at morning break. Weekends usually by 11/12 she would be hungry and would eat something

During lockdown she has been getting later and later in the day by the time she feels like eating. I offer her various things (I'm working from home) but she just keeps saying she's not hungry.

She is normally very active. She dances 4 nights a week and that obviously isn't happening at the moment. My DF thinks her lascivious of appetite is her body adjusting to the fact it's now using much less energy. I don't know what to think!

On one hand, I can't force feed her and she does eventually eat something each day, but in the other hand, I really don't think she's eating enough!

Sorry, no advice as I'm currently in the same boat, but just wanted you to know you're not alone!

They are such a worry at times!

Does she usually bake/cook a lot? From experience with myself and what I've read, those with eating disorders can become obsessed with food.
Even spending a lot of time cooking but not wanting to eat what they made.

Hi my dd is 14yo and is similar, she is now only eating a small lunch and then will eat a proper dinner and a couple of small snacks in the evening. She is tall 5ft 6in and is starting to look much skinnier.

She has also upped the exercise and has started baking regularly, she will sometimes eat what she's baked but not always.

I'm at a loss to know how to support her, anytime I try and talk to her about it she gets really defensive and walks off.

This is unfortunately too common a story from what I've been reading. Dd is exactly the same at 16. She dances every day plus goes for daily walks, yet eats less than when at school. I definitely think there's a link to food being the only thing they have control of atm.

This is unfortunately too common a story from what I've been reading. Dd is exactly the same at 16. She dances every day plus goes for daily walks, yet eats less than when at school. I definitely think there's a link to food being the only thing they have control of atm.

Op I know what you mean though. It's so hard knowing what to say. I don't want to make an issue worse but can't afford to ignore it either.

H there I also have a 13 year old daughter with similar picture. Eating less and less as lockdown continues (we're in Melbourne) I would similarly love to hear some advice on how to handle this. I just wonder if I should be making plans to book her in to see an eating specialist type counsellor (though of course we can't actually do that at the moment here) Also worried about the bombardment of Tik Tok and Insta. Far too many young girls in there with super slim bods in their micro denim shorts 🙄. What a nightmare this is. Just so bloody worrying, as if we haven't got enough to worry about already 😢

I'm posting this as someone with an ED, rather than as a parent. My ED disorder developed when I was an adult, so not necessarily similar to when teens develop EDs.

Eating disorders are very rarely solely about weight, food and wanting to be thin, although that is how they present and those are the visible symptoms. They are very much about control and their pathology is very complicated. I consider myself a very rational, logical person in many respects, but someone with an eating disorder does not have rational thought processes around food and eating and it can be hard for other people to understand the mindset of someone with an ED.

I think some of the habits described on this thread are concerning and I can understand that knowing when and how to intervene is difficult. Some things that might be helpful are avoiding conversations about food and eating during meal times, avoiding labelling foods as good or bad, or healthy or unhealthy and avoiding talk of body shape. If there are scales in your bathroom, I would suggest removing them - and if that causes upset that would be a red flag to me.

If you are concerned about lack of calories you could try adding things like adding more olive oil or butter to dishes, or encouraging food like nut butters which are nutrient dense. I am in a strange place in terms of recovery, but one of my issues is around volume of food - so I'd rather eat a slice of toast and nut butter than a plate that has more food on it but with the same calorific value. I also have lots of milky drinks when I am trying to increase calories as my eating disorder is a lot less anxious about calories that I drink compared to calories I eat. As I said - they are not rational thought processes.

Beat eating disorders charity is a great resource for carers and their guidance is really comprehensive.

Seeking help sooner rather than later always helps with ED treatment, but is not always easy to access and requires specialist intervention rather than just general CAMHS. In adult cases, many GPs are overly fixated on weight as an indicator of an ED which can be a barrier to early intervention - I am unsure if this is the case with teens, but I would suggest treading carefully as telling someone with an ED that they essentially weigh too much to access help can be damaging. This is a real challenge in terms of early intervention.

This is a bit of a ramble so I hope some of it is useful. I think my final thought is that when someone has an ED, the fear of food, or certain foods, and the anxiety around them is so real and intense that trying to force someone to eat is never a battle that you will win - it just causes distress for all parties. Even if it seems someone is being stubborn or difficult, it is the eating disorder causing that behaviour, rather than the individual themselves

Thank-you Rustnot - that is very helpful.
Cameoat - and here on the other side of the world our netball season has completely curtailed which my DD has been so disappointed about so they're all running for training now!

I'm not an expert, so feel free to ignore! But I've heard from a few adults that they couldn't face breakfast but we're forced to eat 3 meals a day. They just weren't hungry in the morning. I wonder if letting her eat and drink when she wants, rather than enforcing a specific 3 meal policy would help her feel in control? Lots of tempting higher cal drinks and food in the fridge, with family dinners where people can take from the centre - so they are in control of portions. Someone with an ED might be able to confirm if that helps or hinders.

Unless under a section no one is FORCED to do anything against their will.
Inpatient or day patient ED recovery programs will have very rigid meal times and the meals be planned for the patient.

If the person does not have an acute physical health concern then a community recovery program will work WITH the patient.