Binge eating support thread

[emptycup]

Is there an ongoing thread for binge eating support? I'm on the app so the only one I can find is from a few years ago.

Hi I haven't read all replies but I think I binge. Food is the bane if my life. I've given up smoking, I barely drink anymore but I can't stop myself going for that last treat or whatever is left over. Is this binge eating? My eating habits are awful I tend to go all day without eating then once picked kids up, I pick, have some dinner with them, then il put them to bed and make my dinner and prob have stuff after like choc 🙄I've always been big and eaten this way for years, I'm quite fussy aswell which doesn't help.
Need to sort it out 😳

Hello, I thought I’d join you.

I’m in my mid fifties and have been binge eating since childhood. Not sure when it became frequent enough to be classified as BED, but pretty sure that by my mid teens I would have qualified. I first became overweight when I was 8, but I don’t know whether I was already bingeing, or whether that started later. Maybe when my parents started restricting my food because I was overweight....

I’ve only sought help from my GP once, over 20 years ago. His initial response was “You are an intelligent woman, you don’t have a psychological problem.” Laughable! He did however refer me to a psychologist, who I saw for about 6 sessions I think. But then I moved with my job and had to stop. At that point I was doing Ok with my eating and thought that was it. How wrong was I....

Anyway - the last few months I have been using alternative therapies to address the psychological and subconscious drivers of my eating and I am feeling much calmer. I haven’t binged for two and a half months now.

I’ve also been losing weight, which is hardly surprising since I am morbidly obese, and going from regular binges in addition to meals, to just the meals, is a massive difference. I do snack, but only when actually hungry. I’m trying to not have any food rules, but that is hard.

I feel pretty good at the moment. Danger time will come if and when my weight bottoms out at a point when I am definitely still very overweight.

I have diabetes, so I have regular checkups. What pisses me off is that in all the interactions with health professionals, who have seen the way my weight and blood sugars yo-yo, they have never asked me about binge eating. And when I have volunteered that I do it, they have never said “do you want to talk about that?” or “do you want some help with that?”

Oh, I discovered recently that BED was officially recognised as a separate eating disorder in 2013, and that NICE have had a treatment pathway in place since 2017.

While my own experience with getting NHS help hasn’t been great, and MH services have been hit hard by the pandemic, I would encourage all of you to look into this and see if your GP can refer you.

Info about BED:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/binge-eating/

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/types/binge-eating-disorder

And for @Babyg1995 in particular: Concern about your weight is understandable, but focussing on that is likely to interfere with getting the binge eating under control. Hard as it is, you will likely do better if you can shelve your weight concern for the time being.

@PuzzledObserver. Thanks for the useful info links.

That is really bad about medical professionals not probing further and supporting you after you telling them about your BED.

I had BED when I was younger but I’ve not had eating issues for over 15 years (other MH issues in that time, but that’s another story). Anyway, I have been binging this week and I feel awful, mentally and physically. I know it’s because I’m down, and possibly also because I watched the Freddie Flintoff programme on Tuesday, which has somehow triggered me. I’m so cross with myself.

I don’t want this to spiral out of control.

I remember one of the things that helped me before was the breakfast tastes so much nicer if you are actually hungry, rather than full and bloated and ashamed from the day before.

So, am here for the solidarity and encouragement and to encourage others in turn

@Purpler5 how amazing that you went 15 years without eating issues! Did you have treatment to help you first time round, or just self-help? At least you know it can be done.

I had a small amount of counselling sessions (like 6), which didn’t really help, but spurred me on enough to do the self help (I bought a book, which was really helpful). Then I got busy with getting married and having babies.

I was probably a mild case as well to be honest.

I think probably that’s another trigger - this children are more independent now so I don’t have other distractions, and don’t “need” to set such a good example with eating, even though I know I do really, as much as ever. But just lost motivation to do so.

What alternative therapies are you using @PuzzledObserver?

I’m using Optimal EFT to locate and neutralise the emotional response to events in my past (mainly childhood) which give rise to beliefs and thinking styles which are problematic, e.g. perfectionism, low self-esteem, all or nothing thinking, the belief that eating is a good way to deal with negative emotions etc.

I’ve also been using hypnosis and subliminal audio recordings to help implant healthier eating and exercise habits.

Sounds interesting. I definitely need to let go of the belief that eating is a good way to deal with difficult emotions. Thanks for expressing that as it makes sense and I’m going to do some work with that.

Hopefully you can continue the way you’ve been, well done!

Hi everyone, I've rather slowly come to the acceptance that I have a binge eating disorder. Your posts here have struck chords with me. My routine is almost always not eating until around 4 or 5, and then it'll be a few biscuits while making the kids dinner. Then I'll wait until I'm alone to eat my dinner and assorted crap. I really want to get a grip on this, as it's getting me down so much. I do need to lose weight, but that isn't my priority with my eating. It's starting to affect my health, which is what I'm really concerned with. (chronic reflux, IBS, sore stomach, depression and anxiety over it/my size).

Aaaanyway, it's nice to be here, and wishing you all the best.

Welcome @Dugsbollox but sorry you are in a difficult place with eating/weight.

I found one thing that helped me stop the night time binges was how much better breakfast would taste, and how much better I’d feel waking up in the morning knowing that I’d not binged, and therefore deserved breakfast.

Not sure if that helps at all.

Is it this thread with the french poster, who, although a bit harsh, has done very wise words about eating and our attitude to food. Basically saying food is not a treat, and I can’t remember what else.

Welcome, @Dugsbollox, good to see you.

Also good you’re able to say that losing weight is not your priority. I’m only just starting to understand just how deeply ingrained the desire to lose weight is in me, and the way my mind judges every eating decision in terms of good/bad, will it cause me to gain/lose weight etc.

Because I have spent most of the last 30 years morbidly obese, I had assumed that I didn’t do much eating restraint. Well I may not have followed through much of the time and actually restrained my eating, but boy is the thinking process there. And that means that even though I was eating the chocolate, I was so busy beating myself up for it, I wasn’t enjoying it.

Thanks both for your welcome.

I'm going to read back through this thread today as I gave more time, but sometimes a bit of blunt honesty is needed. I hope in time that the idea of food being fuel will get into my head, but after years of thinking otherwise I guess it'll take time.

"Because I have spent most of the last 30 years morbidly obese, I had assumed that I didn’t do much eating restraint. Well I may not have followed through much of the time and actually restrained my eating, but boy is the thinking process there. And that means that even though I was eating the chocolate, I was so busy beating myself up for it, I wasn’t enjoying it."

I can empathise with your feelings here, @PuzzledObserver. Those feelings of needing to restrict/guilt at "failing" are a constant in the back of my mind.

@PurpleFrames

Hi empty cup x

Have you thought about joining OA (over-eaters anonymous)? I have only recently heard about it.

My family doesn't know so I can't help there I'm afraid, because I live alone. Do you want to share with your DP for support? X

It’s weird as anything,

Just found this thread and wondered how you were all doing, with the lockdowns ongoing as well..

I've been struggling with the same kinds of problems, also on some meds for depression which doesn't help as they can cause weight gain. Need to get a grip on it as put on quite a bit of weight.

I've been reading a book on it and it says about eating 3 meals a day and noting down any 'extras' and how you were feeling / what you were doing etc

I'm just doing this to start with, and finding my problem times are the afternoon and evening after dinner.

Also that DH doesn't eat much all day and will offer me wine / choc etc in the evening which is fine for him perhaps but not that helpful.

I really need help and I don't know where to start or who to turn to.

I went on a diet about a year ago to lose weight as I had an overweight BMI. Intermittent fasting and restricting calories to 1400 a day. It was great and I lost around 1-2lbs a week.

Then the winter lockdown hit and my mental health took a nose dive and my uncontrollable anxiety meant I lost my appetite (it was very bad, I was paranoid and thinking Crazy thoughts) In turn, I felt in control by controlling my weight so I was eating around 400 Cals a day. By April I was underweight and my periods had stopped so I finally decided maybe I need to get a grip on this.

I've tried to eat more but unfortunately this has led to excessive binging. I think 'well, I've gone over 2000 calories today so I may as well eat the whole cake. And another sandwich. And a chocolate bar. I'll eat better tomorrow'. And I eat until my stomach hurts, until I've bloated and swollen so much I look pregnant. I have to lie down and can't move for the rest of the day. It takes me a couple of days to recover so my stomach shrinks back to normal.

And the cycle keeps repeating. I'm so scared of getting fat but I lose all control during a binge

I'm really struggling at the moment too. Just had a terrible week with binging being back after I thought I'd finally beaten it in 2019. It helps a bit reading this thread knowing that I'm not alone. It makes me feel very low and upset though.

Hi everyone, this is my first post ever on MN so please bear with me. I have binged ever since getting pregnant with my son who is now 11. This together with dieting and mad exercise regimes managed to keep my weight in the overweight category, nevertheless not far off obese. Anyway, my point is that this year I’ve been focusing very hard on self acceptance and not restricting food as this always led to a binge. I’ve listened to a really helpful podcast by Jenn Hand called ‘Cake doesn’t count’ and also read her book ‘Normal Eaters Club.’ Recently something has just clicked. I’m not trying to lose weight just get a handle on things. By eating every 3 hours at least, not denying myself anything and focussing on my satiety levels I finally see some control happening. So just to let everyone on this group know it is possible to break the cycle even if it takes 11 years to do it. I’m not a ‘healthy’ weight but that’s fine I am happy and not beating myself up anymore about food.