22 month old won't stop eating

[April2018Baby]

I'm very sorry if this isn't the right board for this post, but I'm not getting a response to my other post and this seems to be the only good board I can find

I’m looking for other parents who have been through similar and could give me some advice

My daughter is 22 months and has always enjoyed eating food. She does refuse the occasional meal (particularly if it’s veg) but loves most other foods

I’m having an issue with her at the moment where if there is food around (on the table, someone else is eating food, on display at a cafe) she is uncontrollable. She grabs the food, screams, shouts and throws herself on the floor. She does not give up trying to get the food and it’s exhausting. At a playgroup last week, there was cake on the side. I gave her 1 piece when she asked when we arrived and explained she could only have that bit, I then spent 2 hours trying to distract her from the cake and dealing with her screaming. In the end I left as I was so embarrassed with her behaviour as everyone kept staring and asking what was wrong with her. This is not a rare occasion, this is happening daily.

She takes food from strangers plates, takes food from her friends, if I eat she screams and screams trying to get it. It’s just a bit of a nightmare tbh, it’s almost as if she doesn’t realise she is full and just loves eating.

I’ve been advised by a Health Visitor to let her have unlimited food so she stops binging and self regulates, I have been doing this 3 weeks and at a playgroup today she ate 6 adult biscuits, crackers, cucumber, raisins, cheese and blueberries plus lots of water. That was from 9.30-11, she had breakfast beforehand of 1 wheatabix, sultanaters, a cup of milk and a slice of toast at 8.15.

TMI (too much information) Alert - her nappies are horrendous at the moment due to the volume of poo she is passing. She is having 5-7 poos a day, several of which leak and I have to change her and change her bedding. Yesterday there was so much it leaked all into her pjs and it went from her nipples to her toes!!!

Has anyone else had this?

I’m at a total loss as to what to do!

I would move this to parenting OP you will get more traffic and hopefully someone can help

Ok, she's a toddler. She doesn't have a disorder, other than being a toddler! They're impulsive. Many of them like cake. They NEED that cake NOW!

Just keep reinforcing that we don't take other people's food. Praise the good behaviour, try to ignore the bad.
Regarding the number of poos, something else is going on here- perhaps there's an intolerance? That might also contribute to the hunger.
My DD has always eaten tons of food, but is pretty slender- she has been diagnosed with cow's milk and wheat intolerances, so she was eating loads because her food was just passing straight through and not getting enough nutrition from it. Now we've sorted the food she eats normal amounts for a child her age.

This is not the right board, your toddler doesn't have an eating disorder.

Your HV is right though - Don't limit her food.

But, you're giving her unhealthy stuff in with some healthier options. Make all snacks you offer her healthy options, not biscuits. I'd also cut raisins and sultanas because of sugar content and limit fruit to 2 portions a day maximum.

So make your snacks veg based where possible. Do a massive batch of roasted or steamed vegetables and offer these cold. These can be offered alongside salad - pepper slices, cucumber, sliced cherry tomatoes, celery, carrot buttons. Blitz up some chickpeas to make humus dip. Olives.

I'd use snacks as an opportunity to up LO's vegetable portions per day and make almost all snacks as veg (not fruit). Then give protein, fats and carbs as part of main meals. Avoid overload with sugar and ensure she drinks a lot of fluids

Are there other symptoms at all? Is she your first? How does she compare to her peers, etc? Have you seen GP?

My DD was similar, perhaps not quite to this extent, but definitely similar - forever wanting to be eating, stealing from others plates, tantrums about getting more, going for a lot of poos etc. She's now 3 and things are getting better, although she still eats loads! What I found helped was being clear about when food was to be expected - three main meals and two snacks in between. At each meal she can eat as much as she likes, and I will keep giving her more until she is no longer interested. Snacks are big but she only gets what has been chosen/given. There is no other food in-between these times. This seemed to help as over time she learnt not to obsess about getting food in-between. It doesn't work so well when you go to places like playgrounds where food is available - but at these times I do just let her have what she wants.

@haba

Thank you for your reply

She is quite slender, she has slim arms and legs which she has always had

I have actually wondered about food intolerances as she always has very loose nappies, but as she's had constant colds and teething for the past few months I've put it down to that

A friend has suggested a food diary and taking a stool sample to my GP to see if they can check/test for anything so it could be that show's intolerance to certain foods

Offer filling non crap food options.. she’s doesn’t have an eating disorder she’s a toddler who has seen a delicious cake and must eat it.. pretty much like most of us think about doing.

As for poo watch the amount of fruit going in, a lot of fruit makes us go and we’re considerably bigger than her.

"Constant colds" could be masking the symptoms of dairy intolerance too.

Though obviously teething often causes loose nappies, cold symptoms etc. This is why intolerances don't get picked up until they're older often.

@Psychologika

Thank you for your reply

She is my first. Compared to her friends she is food crazy, everyone we know knows how obsessed she is with food and always comments on it. When I watch her friends at playgroups or play cafes, they eat much slower than her and usually leave a bit of their food. I feel like they recognise they are full and are happy to then go and play which doesn't seem to be something she can do. If she sees I have a cup of coffee she comes running over screaming, I think she's worried I'm going to have food without her. I dont eat at playgroups anymore as it's too much hassle for me

Not seen a GP, but a friend has suggested a food diary and taking a stool sample so will do that then see GP to see what they think

@monkeyted

Thank you for sharing, I'm quite relieved to hear someone else's child has been doing this. None of my friends children are like it so I've been feeling a bit alone

That's really good to hear, my daughter currently can't talk so although I'm explaining and setting limitations with foods (like the cake mentioned in the OP) I don't think she understands and is then confused and frustrated when I say no, which results in the tantrums

I wonder if her behaviour will improve when her communication improves?

That seems a lot of dirty nappies for a two year old. I would take her to the GP and ask their advice. Maybe her food is going straight through her and so she is constantly hungry, like PP’s DC. Has she always been like this or is this relatively new?

@FATEdestiny

Thanks for your reply

I don't keep cakes, biscuits, crisps, etc at home. I only offer healthy foods like homemade oat bars, fruit, cucumber, etc

The issue is when we go to public places with food available such as playgroups and cafes

Interestingly, the Health Visitor said to not limit biscuits or sugar. She suggested having some biscuits at home so that way she doesn't binge when we go out to playgroups

@Tinty

Thank you for your reply

Yes I agree the volume is a lot

I haven't taken her to a GP, but I have started a food diary today and will see the GP in a couple of weeks with a stool sample to see if they can check for intolerances

@Tinty

Sorry just to finish, she has pretty much been this way from her first birthday in April 2019

@April2018Baby

Did she drink lots of milk or is it only since she started eating food? Unless she has a really fast metabolism, or she runs around and is constantly active, with the amount of food you say she eats, she ought to be quite chunky. But you say she has slender arms and legs.

It could be food intolerances. My DS was breastfed and was never sick or had any problems until he was one and I started giving him cows milk. He would be sick every other day and started getting tummy aches. He had an intolerance to dairy fat. Ice cream, cheese, cream etc made him sick. I put him on skimmed milk at the GP’s suggestion and he was fine. He eventually grew out of it.

@Tinty

She was exclusively breastfed so I have no idea how many ounces of milk she drank per day when she was purely on milk. She only really has diary through cheese now as we have soya milk at home instead of cows (she has the Alpro toddlers soya milk to ensure she gets all the vitamins and fats she needs to grow at her age). She has this soya milk in her wheetabix or porridge and a small cup of it with breakfast. She stopped having breast milk in November, aged 18 months

She was a very sicky baby when she was EBF, when I took her to the GP they said this is just how babies are so I didn't think anything of it and just dealt with the sick. It reduced when we started weaning after about 6/7 months

I'm very lucky she has only been properly sick (as in vomit) once since her first birthday, we all had the winter bug so if she has an intolerance it doesn't seem to make her sick

She is very active, we go out to groups, parks, softplay, friends houses and play cafes most days. She's a very confident little girl and loves running around exploring, which is lovely. I think this is how she's managed to keep her weight down, but is also part of the problem people don't take my concerns seriously because she "isn't a fat child" (I'm quoting what others regularly say to me)

I think a trip to the GP with a stool sample and a food diary to check for intolerances maybe a good next step

I know that it's difficult to get out and about outdoors at this time of year, but you do seem to spend ever so much time at places where food is visible and readily available all the time. This really can't be helping, because she's surrounded by the stuff.

Are there any activities you could take her to that don't have any food on offer? She's obsessed by food at the moment, so if there is literally none at all, hopefully she will calm down a bit.

@dustibooks

Thank you for your reply

Yes food is everywhere at children's centres, particular sugary food which is not ideal!

We do spend lots of time outdoors at our local farm (they have a petting area) and walks and feeding the ducks at the local pond. But I have found it very difficult this time of year to be outside as much as the summer when it's cold and wet. She has a puddle suit and and wellies which are covered in mud as she loves being outdoors, but it gets lonely as most outside places we go to don't have children as young as her. I'm a SAHM and she's not in nursery so I also take her to groups so she can socialise and be use to being around other children (she is currently an only child)

I've stopped going to a Monday group we usually go to, as it's unbearable with the cake and I am considering stopping out Thursday one as this is the one with biscuits. The Tuesday and Wednesday groups are great as there is no food out until a set snack time and there are lots of healthy options. I think I need to pick and choose our groups around food going forward and when spring is here I can spend less time at groups and more time outside

Good plan. Hopefully she will grow out of it, and with luck, out of sight out of mind is the way to go

Just a thought but some children actually need a lot of “feedback” on their jaws - try giving her lots of really crunchy hard to eat food like carrots, apples. As my mum always said - limiting food doesn’t really work with children - make it healthy and she can eat what she wants.

Children - like adults - can get obsessive about food. I’ve seen it in action and it’s really surprised me.