Pro Ana chats

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Bit of a long story. Almost 2 years ago I caught my then 12yo DD on a pro-ana chat group saying how she was skipping breakfast, hated having to eat meals in front of us, posting pictures of herself saying she wanted to see her ribs, etc. (She is a very petite girl. Myself and her dad have always been naturally slim and as a child I was a skinny little rake who ate anything and could never put on an ounce and she is very similar in build to me, so clearly was very slim already). I took her to the doctor and was advised to go to counselling. (Cahms weren't interested as she wasn't ill enough!). After a few weeks of counselling she got over it and has been fine since. Eating really well, happy, etc).

Now 2 years on I have seen on her phone and tablet that she is once again on these chat pages. She seems to be eating normally at the moment, although she eats breakfast before us so not sure if she's eating much. She never has eaten much at school lunch but is eating a normal dinner.

I haven't yet raised this with her again, but did ask her if anything was worrying her (ie her GCSE and she admitted she was a bit worried about them).

I'm not sure if this has something to do with that? I'm concerned that if I raise the issue at the moment she will be more careful about hiding her activity and she's far more IT savvy than me so that would be easy for her to do.

Should I just keep a close eye on her and see how it goes?

Does anyone have any advice? Thank you (sorry for the long post)

I don’t have any experience myself but would maybe advise you to get up and have breakfast with her. A friend’s dd was “eating breakfast early” but in actual fact was just dirtying a knife and sticking some crumbs on a plate. She wasn’t actually eating anything.
I would go gently gently with your dd - maybe use breakfast time to chat to her one on one about how she’s getting on?
In the meantime (until someone more knowledgable comes along) do check out Beat - they have great online advice.
Good luck.

Thanks for your reply. I have looked at the Beat website as I say we had a bit of this a couple of years ago. I think she is eating breakfast (we've started weighing the cereal boxes before bed and after her breakfast and it is going - I can't see any evidence of it being thrown away). We will just keep a really close eye on her at the moment. I just find it strange that she's eating and yet looking at these sites. She is a very quiet girl and has always struggled to fit in so I wonder if she's doing this to find a group that she can engage with?

Hi OP. I have just enrolled at uni studying psychology and have also been studying eating disorders as it’s the area that I want to specialise in. At the moment I am an almost qualified nutritionist, so although I am not a professional as yet, I didn’t want to read and run and make you feel like you were alone.

First of all it is not uncommon for young girls in particular to worry about their appearance. There are many social and environmental pressures out there in regards to being “skinny”. The media is always full of celebs that have lost weight on crash diets and it portrays being “thin” as a way of being successful and attractive, when of course we know this is not true. Sadly when it comes to eating disorders many clinics and professionals won’t help until an individual becomes a dangerously low weight, this is detrimental as the longer the eating disorder has to take hold, the harder it is to treat. My advice would be to keep an eye on her without her noticing (I am aware this is difficult) but also taking the time to talk to her and gather information with her about keeping the body healthy. If she opens to you and suggests that she has a negative relationship towards eating, then I would suggest counselling once more. As said above this is imperative at early stages. Beat also has a helpline that you can ring, that specialises in helping family members cope with a loved one with an earring disorder, and they will be able to help far more than me. I wish you and your DD the best.