What do I do? Wedding and 'dieting'

[Berryjam]

Hello,
Has anyone's ED been reactivated or triggered again by their wedding? I'm struggling and don't know how common this is? Or what to do?!

My last bout of Ed was in 2016/ early 17 when I was assessed as an out patient and helped.

However for the past year I've had awful intrusive thoughts. I got engaged in June this year, our wedding is in May 2020. At first I was sensible and wanted to tone up but now I feel I'm heading for out of control mode and basically my restrictive bahaviour has now become avoidance of food all together.
My exercise is starting to get a little out of control too.

I just want to cry as I can't get a grip.
I don't know what to do. I am normal weight but the way it's going I know I'll become ill again.
This is going beyond how I look on my wedding day. I just feel like not eating is my only outlet and form of control.

Does anyone have any experience of this? Or advise on what I can do?
I was discharged from my psychiatrist back 2 years ago but they always said I can come back if needed. However I don't look ill x

Hi, firstly welldone for recognising your behaviours and trying to help yourself.
I haven’t been triggered by a wedding but I have been triggered by losing weight for events like holidays. The thought of trying to look a certain way and fit into certain clothes is a lot of pressure.
It sounds crazy and you might not be in this place yet but have you considered asking yourself what would be so bad about getting a dress that fits you now rather than what you want to look like for one day? Will you be happy to go back to the size you are now after the wedding? If so then try and find a way to tell yourself you are beautiful and enough as you are.
Also remember your partner is marrying you for you not a dress size and everyone at your wedding is there for your special day not to judge you.
I know it’s not easy, it took me 15 years to even consider the above, I think maybe you should speak to your psych, even though you don’t look ill, recovering from an eating disorder is a long journey and challenges come our way that we sometimes need support with. Hope you’re ok!

A friend of mine's anorexia was triggered by her wanting to lose weight for her wedding. By the time the wedding came around she'd lost so much weight the dressmaker had to take it in at least twice, and she was only a size 10 to start with. I'm sorry to say that she carried on after the wedding, and things took a turn for the worse - she sadly passed away several years later.