Will GP offer help?

[Sunmoonearth]

I've suffered from an eating disorder for more than 30 years.

I've never been offered treatment or help despite being very underweight for more than 20 years of that (between bmi 12 to 14). I've never discussed it with anyone.

Im now mid 40s and I'm no longer underweight (thanks premature menopause!). Bmi is 22. Weight gain happened about 3 years ago. Combination of menopause and nagging husband and colleague. It wasn't discusses but they just kept insisting I eat.

But I don't feel any better. Much worse. I'm now fat and miserable. Every time I try to restrict, my husband is shoving food at me. I realise he thinks it's helpful and it's the answer but it isn't. The actual issue isn't discussed and hasn't been.

I'm suffering from low back and hip pain (sacroiliacitis and axial spondylarthropathy which I've posted about on MN before) which makes exercising impossible. And hard to control weight.

I can't believe I'm actually going to say this. Between the hip and low back pain and the eating disorder I've never had the opportunity to talk about and now not able to get on with (ie losing weight which makes me feel good and makes me feel calm) I have considered ending it all.It's unbearable. I have had a plan for some time.

I've always been too ashamed to speak to anyone. Doubt the GP will care or help as I'm fat. I don't have the courage to phone anyone or ask for help any other way.

GP does a very good line in fobbing off generally. Always done very nicely and politely. For instance with the hip and low back pain, I had to get our private medical insurance online doctor service to get me a referral as years of pain and constant fobbing off by GP.

I couldn't bear to open up about this just to be fobbed off again. Is it worth the risk?

Has anyone else been in my position (ie long term ED but not currently under weight) and still gotten help from GP?

Long sorry. Thanks for reading

I have had lots of support from my GP despite not being massively underweight.

I am aghast though, that you had a BMI of 12 and were offered no support. Just because you didn't talk about it, you must have been very, very unwell. Were you with your DH then? I think you need him on your side if you are going to recover.

Can you change GP?

Hi

This is quite a few years ago and before I was with DH. It was during university.
I was quite underweight when DH and I first met.

Current GP wouldn't know any of this as we have only lived in this area 5 years.

When we first moved here, my BMI was lower than it is now (I was much happier with that obvs). Not sure how noticeable it would have been.

I had an appointment today about an ongoing low back hip issue and I wanted clarity about what two consultants had said. With so much else going on I didn't feel like I could mention this as well.

In terms of previous GPs, they were probably not very good and some of this was 25+ years ago and I'm not sure how well eating disorders were understood then.

It's all such a huge mess.

Sorry to hear about this, it sounds like you're struggling. The obvious thing is to see another GP - I don't think there's much point going to one that you think has a tendency to fob you off. Is there another one at your surgery - if so you could just book an appointment? If not then is changing GPs surgery's a problem?

There are lots of them at the surgery. All much of a muchness really.

I don't know whether to book another appointment or what to do.

If you presented now it would be with an 'atypical' ED. About 15% of the local ED service patients have an atypical ED. Normal body weight but all the mindset of someone with a raging ED.

You must have had severe chronic malnutrition. Your spine is at risk. The anorexia could have led to Premature Ovarian failure. To best treat you for the chronic pain, the doctors would benefit from knowing the true history, how your body got to this stage. Did you used to go on pro-annie sites or was it just your private thing?

Trout.
I'm mid 40s and menopausal and on HRT already. Probably the ED as no one in my family had early menopause.

The low back and hip pain appears to be some sort of axial spondylarthropathy which is arthritis related somehow. Doubt ED had anything to do with this as there is a long family history of arthritis.

I didn't realise the eating disorder services treated people like me. I thought they would only treat low weight.

Maybe write it down and give to your GP - or see the practice nurse and ask them which GP they think would be the best for you to see?

I don't think you need to go into depth about your history, but I do think if you want the correct treatment for what you have now, you do need to tell them you were severely underweight as a young adult.

Have you had a bone scan?

Before I had an ED, I had 2 stress fractures (over use injuries from running) and they were very interested in knowing my eating and weight patterns (I was low but healthy BMI). I am really surprised you're seeing consultants about skeletal issues and they haven't explored the history of your eating and weight.

For you future health PLEASE get some help for your bone.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this - I do know how hard it is.

Can you get a therapy referral via your private cover, or can you afford to pay for it?

You deserve help to get better, but unfortunately in many areas funding cuts mean it is not available. Certainly do ask your GP, but if they say you don't meet the criteria please try not to think of it that you're not worthy of help, you are, but the strict criteria means very few meet the threshold.

Original. I think they've not asked as my issue is rheumatoid ie inflammatory.
But no they've not asked. Save for the comment that the rheumatologist made which was that my weight was "good".

I've 4 MRIs in 6 months. I assume they would have picked up bone density issues from there? That's if there were any.

I don't know how to start the conversation in RL.

I did have a blood test last month which showed me to be completely B12 deficient (level was 100). No one asked about my eating other than whether I am vegan which I'm not.

I do eat meat but generally eating is extremely erratic and restricted. Apart from weekends where I have to put on a good show for my husband.

I've not exactly been using laxatives. However 3 years ago after a blood test. GP said I was deficient in magnesium. So been taking that. But I've been taking v high dose with my main (often only) meal at dinner which is more effective than laxatives and almost instant. (Sorry tmi).

I expect this is why the B12 was so low. And despite all that magnesium my level was on 8.

I've never been able to talk about any of this. And I can't actually believe I'm writing it down.

I could access private therapy. Both via medical insurance and we can pay for it.
I'm too ashamed to ask for help and I don't know how I'd get the words out.

Thanks for reading