I keep making myself sick (trigger warning for EDs?)

[LeafUmbrella]

Have Name changed.

I've always made myself sick from a young age but VERY sporadically. I would go years in between.

Recently I hit 18 stone and just couldn't face it anymore.

I started a meal replacement diet and am now 15 stone 10.

Ive been doing well but I keep cheating and then throwing up.

Or I will have a healthy meal and just hate the feeling of my stomach being full.

Today was my weigh in day and I gained a lb.

I spiralled and went to mcds. I ate chocolate, a donut and a pasty.

I came home and threw it all up.

I am getting to the point where it might be becoming an issue as I can't fail.

I can't be fat anymore

But I haven't sorted my food issues out

So I keep eating then regret it.

Any advice please.

Anyone :( Feeling very shit

To me it does sound like disordered eating. I think deep down you probably know it's not right I suggest you go and visit your GP. I'm no expert obviously but I have had what I guess you'd call mild disordered eating habits for years and I know things can quickly spiral out of control. So listen to your heart. Talking about it with my gp definitely helped. Acting early when you know something isn't right is a good step to helping yourself get better

I could have written this post :-( I have exactly the same problem..I’ve also lost weight starting at 17 stone this year and 14 now. I often sadly have binge and purge episodes and I so get that awful feeling of helplessness. I do think vlcd’s arent perhaps the best idea for people like us..I know when I restrict myself too much binges are far more frequent. I’m trying now to just try and eat more normally without restrictions so if I’m craving chocolate I have a packet of Maltesers which seems to stop me eating 7 and then throwing the towel in and saying “I’ll start again tomorrow”
There is some really interesting science research behind binge eating -I definitely think it’s possible to rewire your brain (brain over binge is a good book if you haven’t read it) the more days we can not binge the weaker those neural pathways become. Early days for me so I can’t really advise but sending you I know just how awful this is.