dd2 newly diagnosed anorexia

[pleaseeatit]

My world feels like it has imploded this week as my 14 yr old dd has formal diagnosis of anorexia
i knew something was not right for last few months and from seeing gp 4 weeks ago to our first cahms session last week things just spiralled.
she is seriously ill, and has bmi of 16 and has lost 4 kgs in last 3 weeks alone
we are at home doing family based therapy ..five days and we are all struggling so much.
she wants to get better , is not in denial but i found out so much this week..like she was waking in teh night exercise and has not eaten any thing but tiny dinner for months .
my poor dd is so sad and scared , i cannot leave her alone for a minute, she wants me there all the time and of course i will be and my work have been amazing and told me just to stay home and not worry.
But i feel overwhelmed, i am being told over and over that i am her best chance of recovery , but what if i cannot do it ? why am i able to do this ? i keep saying the wrong things, i dont know how to help her...
my life feels suddenly restricted to our four walls and i am terrified.
to add into this, i was about to ask her father for a separation so though we are doing this together i cant or dont want him supporting me, i am finding it really hard as know i need support but i dont want it from him.
its such a mess
has anyone succeeded at FBT ? and can justt give me a handhold..any success stories from residential treatment ?
I am scared she will have to go to residential unit and i will have failed her further ...

Here for hand holding. I haven't been in your position, but I have been on the other side of it, although I was older than your DD. My mum and my nan being there for me to encourage me, put food on my plate for me and just be around when my mind was tearing itself apart honestly saved me. I never had to have residential treatment, but a friend who has has completely recovered now. I'm genuinely well now and studying to be a mental health nurse so I can help other people.

I don't know if you've heard of this forum before: www.aroundthedinnertable.org/ but if not, it's amazing for support/advice/success stories. Most of the parents on there are doing/have done FBT and they will be able to help.

You are strong enough for this and it sounds like you're doing everything you can for your DD. Anorexia is a scary thing and sometimes you'll feel like you can't say the right thing, and that's okay. It's okay for you to feel overwhelmed. Things can get better, hang in there.

My d is in strong recovery now, I second the website mentioned above and also look for Eva Musby, her book is invaluable. I’m happy to talk to you by pm if you like. It’s tough doing FBT, but recovery is possible. Don’t hesitate to contact me if you wish and I’ll give you details of other online support.

Thank you both.
We arw in hospital now as dd not even able to drink and collapsed and fitted today due to low blood sugars.
Took all day, two different cahms eating disorder nurses trying to get her to drink before they eventually put ngt down. It's been so distressing for her.
I can only hope that re hydrated she might feel a tiny bit stronger and we can preserve but the guilt is eating her up and I am exhausted.

I have only just come across this thread, so I have no idea where your journey has taken you over the past few weeks.

Eating disorders are terrifying, but I just wanted to say, that no matter what it takes for your DD to get better, you have not failed her. Sometimes FBT works, and sometimes it doesn’t. That doesn’t mean you have failed, or that your DD has failed.

I had an eating disorder in my teens and it was so powerful that my family had no hope of helping me. I ended up really sick and having multiple hospitalisations, but i still got better. What mattered, was that my family were there for me, and stayed hopeful and positive.

I hope tho H’s have improved a bit for you.

*things have