My DD

[Toomuchgoingon]

Hi everyone. Our DD (9) has always been a picky eater. The only meat she will eat is chicken nuggets. She doesn't like cheese, nuts, seeds, pulses etc. She will eat anything if it contains chocolate but otherwise it's a nightmare. Occasionally she will eat a boiled egg. She does like salad leaves and cucumber and a occasional banana. But otherwise, getting her to eat anything is traumatic.

She is extremely slim and has a low (but borderline healthy BMI). We can't use the " you will stay at the table until you've finished". We tried that. She sat there for 2 hours and became distressed (as did we). She took an hour the other day to eat a quarter of a small salmon fillet). She would have got up after half an hour having had two or three mouthful if we had let her. She regularly says that she feels tired or sick if it means we will let her skip the rest of dinner.

She has FASD which doesn't help either.

So do you think this is a potential eating disorder, or is she just picky. Mealtimes are so stressful for all concerned. Is it worth getting a Dr appt to discuss?

Thanks for reading this through.......

Yes, go to the doctor. Children can develop atypical eating disorders where the intention isn't to lose weight but the effect is the same. It is dangerous, physically and mentally.

Sounds stressful OP.

I would definitely take her to the GP. Whatever the cause of her pickiness you need help to navigate it.

I would take her to the GP. I would also not rule out a strategy just because it didn't work once though. My DS was very funny about food when he was first adopted at age 7. He used food as a way of controlling things. He would sit in front of a plate of food for ages without eating it and then when we cleared it away he would have a massive meltdown. In the end we used to say to him that when we were all finished we would give him ten minutes to eat (or at least to start eating) and then the plate would be going. This worked after a few tries as he saw we were serious about it and were going to stick to it.

We have always stuck with a kind of eat it or leave it but there's nothing else approach. There were times when DS didn't eat much for days but he does now although he doesn't have a massive appetite and also has a BMI on the low side.

She is also adopted but that hasn't really played a part in this. She is quite happy with the "nothing else " approach as it means she has been left off.

Why do you say it hasn't played a part? Most adopted children will have varying degrees of attachment disorder and food disorders are primarily about control. The two could easily be linked. She's keeping control of what she eats and she's controlling her relationship with you as well. I would see a GP, as an adopted child, she will have CAMHS priority.

She has already seen CAMHS because of the FASD which is her overriding cause of her other issues. She was adopted as a baby so this wasn't a behavior that came with the adoption. That's what I meant. The fact that she gets so distressed by it, if she using it as a control factor, it's misfiring big time. Happy to consider all solutions though as it's wearing for every one. Time to make the gp appt though.