Possible eating disorder in 14yo

[ameliapond]

I will start by saying my daughter is 14, has a history of self harm and has been referred to the eating disorders clinic for an assessment.

She's been self harming since 11, and her eating changed in September, going from.from eating well, to picking at food then eating an okay meal in the evening which she would then purge.
I picked up on that quite early, my cousin had anorexia quite severely, and went to the gp to request a referral to EMWHS (camhs in our area). One of her friends also reported her eating habits to the school which also pushed the referral through.

She has also recently really started to push herself at school, she has moved up to mostly all tops sets this term.

Since then, she has reduced what she is eating bar one day, requests soups, apples, water and chewing gum for the week ahead when I go food shopping. It didn't click fully until I found a meal and exercise plan, where the result is that each day, she'd end on between 0 and 50 calories.

She has been weighed and measured, although this was by the nurse at the Dr's, while not yet underweight for her height, she is close to it (16th centile for bmi)

She is adamant she is fine, but has admitted during her assessment appointment with EMWHS that she is using food as a form of control. She refuses to talk to me, and refuses to acknowledge she has a problem with food.

I want to help her, support her but she won't let me. I'm trying to not make an issue with what she eats.

Hope it has got a bit easier for you. My daughter was the same age when anorexia kicked in, she began with exercise and healthy eating. Knowing what to say or not say is so difficult. Unfortunately for us she had to reach a dangerous level before she would even contemplate that she had anorexia and needed to be told by others. She is still underweight but is gaining under the family approach delivered by CAMHs.

My dd15 has been making herself sick after meals for about 6 months. CAMHS said she has to be very very thin with records of weight loss before they will do anything. DD has admitted that girls at school have called her chubby. She is very small and petite. 6.3 stones and 5'1. She was 7.1 stone last summer. She says her brain says she shouldn't eat as it will make her fat. She does gym and gymnastics each week but doesn't go overboard with exercise. She is my eldest. I'm really struggling with what to do. So very worried. I would be grateful for any advice from any mums who have experience with this.

I would take her back to the GP and keep going. I would also if you haven’t get the school involved. if she is losing weight she should not be doing exercise. I spent far too long trying to coax my DD and I realised I had to let her fall as she was past the point of listening to me. Her BMI went to 15 but treatment then began immediately, the idea of hospitalisation was enough to start weight restoration. That is terrible from CAMHs but not surprising, it is such false economy as the statistics state the quicker the recovery the better the long term outcome. There is a workbook you can download called “hunger for understanding” which is useful.

Thanks you so much for the reply and advice. I will go back to GP. I hate to think what her BMI is. Managed a chat with her last night and mentioned hospitalisation but no reaction to this.