Disordered eating or health conscious?

[Dustbunny1900]

So, I do have anxiety issues and compulsive tendencies..I also work in an industry that's very appearance-based and thin-centric so my money anxieties are now tying into my weight issues(and youth issues, which tie into healthy lifestyle, but let's just do weight for now..) ..but how do I know when there's an issue that needs addressing?

I try and eat mostly vegetables and some fruit..I cut out dairy, and sugar, and I try and avoid simple carbs. I never do desserts and I'm conscious of what I eat and the calories. I feel a lot of guilt when I eat a lot or have dessert, and the day after I restrict.
I weigh everyday.
My BMI is 17 (but blood panels are healthy)
I work out every day, mostly cardio but I concentrate on strength and endurance too.

I don't feel faint though, I don't let myself feel real hunger. Ill just fill up on veggies.

So how do you know when it's tipped from "health conscious and nutrition interests" to unhealthy. Is it the anxiety you feel if you don't do xyz?

Sorry, BMI should say 17.5

Your BMI says you are malnourished and would not be permitted on the catwalks of Milan.

Just eating veggies and fruit says you are malnourished and in the grips of an eating disorder.

Go see a doctor.

It might be worth looking at beat or mind; they both have good information. It might be something more like orthorexia but really, all ED are shit. FWIW, I have a restrictive ED and you have a lower BMI than me.

Beat or mind?? Thank you! I’ll google it

This is not healthy living. You have a disorder.

GOOD:
I try and eat mostly vegetables and some fruit

BAD:
...work in an industry that's very appearance-based and thin-centric
money anxieties...
I feel a lot of guilt when I eat a lot or have dessert, and the day after I restrict.
I weigh everyday.
My BMI is 17.5

CAN GO EITHER WAY:
..I cut out dairy, and sugar, and I try and avoid simple carbs.
I work out every day, mostly cardio but I concentrate on strength and endurance too.

conscious of what I eat and the calories.

I don't feel faint though, I don't let myself feel real hunger. Ill just fill up on veggies.

See how you have more BAD than GOOD?
You're the one saying you have lots of anxiety about food. You know that's not good.
-Just my tuppence.

Sorry, some links would have been helpful.

https://mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/eating-problems/

https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk

Look after yourself

The guilt and making up for it the next day don't sound healthy , neither does your bmi.
See a doctor and take care of yourself op x

There's an eating disorder , orthorexia. I saw a documentary about it. Your eating reminds me of that.

Where's the protein? Where are the good carbs? That's not a healthy diet as evidenced by your bmi.

Yea I know my anxiety, compulsive weighing, and feeling guilt etc

Just wasn't sure about what else might be mentally/physically unhealthy because at this point I'm realizing my family is really weird about weight and food and I may not even know what a normal good relationship w food and body is. It also doesn't help living in this culture I'm sure, I'd say most ppl I've met use food as an addiction or restrict food to battle anxiety like me.

So thanks for breaking it down, that's what I was looking for

I do eat white chicken meat, fresh eggs, and nuts. Just probably not enough

Orthorexia sounds about right, I can't diagnose myself obviously but I def display some of the symptoms. Im naturally a very thin girl anyways so I'm confused as to whether it's really about looks/health or just a sense of control and discipline I like feeling in order to cope.
Thanks for the links too!

It depends what and how much you eat. Do you feel comfortable enough sharing a daily diet?

I’m very slim, same BMI, and work out daily. I am also very healthy. BUT I eat a lot.
So a tonne of veg, salad, fruit, grilled tuna, poached chicken, fat free Greek yoghurt. As a result I genuinely feel really healthy.

I wonder if your focus on healthy food is actually resulting in your feeling unhealthy ie weak, ratty, can’t concentrate - because you are hungry.

For breakfast I have two pieces of wholewheat, grainy bread with peanut butter (my dr told me it was a complete protein)

Then I'll have a baked sweet potatoe, some sauerkraut and maybe an egg or mackerel for lunch. So veggie and protein.

For dinner I'll have more veggies like boiled brocolli and a salad and protein bar (I eat the Lara bars made from dates, nuts, and figs)

Then for a snack,I'll have tea and some crackers.

After a meal I'll feel very full almost to bursting, so I definitely don't feel hungry or go,to bed on an empty stomach.

I do work out everyday either with intense cardio or HIIT with weight machines. Around 25 min

All in all I think I'm pretty healthy. I only drink water, tea, and black coffee

How would you feel if you had to eat unhealthy foods say at Buffet? How would you feel if you put weight on? Or ate more calories that day? Although your not restricting food in time you are restricting groups and weigh daily so doing lots of control behaviors around food. This isn't right is it?
Do you eat different foods or stick to roughly the same? How would you feel if you could not go to gym re away working/hols?
Sounds like orthiximia that op mentioned up messages! But what ever it is go to GP to seek correct assessment and see if it warrants help Bmi that low I think you may need some help.

I know what I think but I think the key question here is does your diet or relationship with food cause you distress. Are issues with food affecting your life or getting in the way of enjoying life?

I’d hazard a guess on this too OP.

I feel super guilty and gross and depressed, honestly (to the question about eating unhealthy buffet food or putting on weight)

Dust then you have just answered your own question it is making you feel miserable please get some support even if it's a friend in RL to talk too about it. Beat seems a good place to phone for support too. I have put on weight since stopped restricting and very tempted to go back to 1 meal a day as feeling that full stomach and weight is getting me down as anxious I will go fat again. But I am trying to get a balance of normal eating and getting Bmi back to 24-25. It's scary but I have to keep going! You surely by your answer know now what you are feeling about food is not right and it's about control which is part of the issue...get some help please

You know when you start to question if it’s normal. Or when food becomes tied to your happiness/anger with yourself, such as punishing for over eating rather than just reducing to make up the shortfall ( non emotional calorie balancing). Also if you feel some glee at the thought of having an ED then your mindset is disordered.

You also know when your calories are too low but you’re still restricting food types and amounts. Which if your BMI is 17, you are.

There are no 100% signs, but if you’re asking, then I think you know the answer.

You seem to know that your mental health and your eating is not healthy. Who are you going to ask for help in your real life?

Also the excuses around certain food and explanation: eg, the bread is wholewheat and grainy and my doctor told me PB is a complete protein. This is because you don’t feel entirely secure in the view that these are healthy foods, or that we’ll think you’re not really eating that well if oy just say bread and PB.
That’s a sign.

Although your diet actually sounds okay, it’s more the excuses and mindset around your eating which sounds off.

A58, I'm not sure who to ask, but I finally have health insurance (in the US) and I think therapy is covered. Guess I'm just cynical about how much therapists can help me , or if it's "bad enough" to warrant

i appreciate this is a zombie thread but do you have an update OP?