I've been a binge-purger since I was a teen. I have never been underweight from it, and I don't think the term bulimic ever really applied to me because I would eat normally until the urge to binge kicked in, and that's the only time I would purge (usually daily).

Anyhow I've stopped the binge-purge cycle and haven't done it for three months. This has happened without any conscious effort to stop, and quite literally, the overwhelming compulsion to binge-purge that I have been unable to control and which has frustrated and tormented me for years, has just vanished. I used to plan it, make sure I had my bingey food stash in the cupboard and thoughts of doing it would just consume me until I'd done it, and then feel hideously disappointed in myself afterwards.

The reason for this huge change I think, is due to the fact I have left a long-term abusive relationship and have been attending counselling. I've been working on low self esteem issues, feelings of self worth and why I never put myself first. I've been busy rebuilding my life free from abuse, and recognising how to avoid similar situations in the future. The sudden change in my eating habits I think has just happened because of a new found focus on my future, and my wants and my desires. At no point have I ever mentioned this to my counsellor (too ashamed), and actually I've never told a soul before.

However I needed to tell someone, even if anonymously on an Internet forum!

I don't know if it will stop forever, and I do wonder if it will flare up again in the future, but for now it's stopped and it's wonderful and I wanted to share it in case it helps someone somewhere on the road to stopping.

Thank you for reading!