Last night I started eating all the christmas food and couldn't stop. I need help.

[shouldaknownbetter]

So I had a watershed moment last night. After two months of restricting my eating and losing weight and feeling really good about it, the demon binge monster has returned.

Last night I started eating the christmas/junk food, I'm talking the sweets, chocolates, crisps, ice cream and mince pies and I couldn't stop . As in literally couldn't.. until at midnight I actually took a sleeping pill as it was the only way I could get myself to stop.

I hae a physical food condition (diabetes) so usually anything heavy in carbs or sugar is off limits and this works to keep my physcially healthy but does create a very black or white, good or bad state in my mind with food. So healthy foods are vegetables, meat, low carb bread, nuts etc and unhealthy foods are sugar, biscuits, pastry, normal bread, all the carbs really.

Problem is, once I start eating the carbs I cannot stop. I'm like an alcoholic in that one is too many and a thousand never enough.

I thought I'd be ok with letting myself off the leash at christmas, I never think/admit I'll be able to stop but look what happened.

This is a pattern with me, I tend to have periods of restricting/losing weight and then the opposite where I gain and eat everything which is off limits. I'm not overweight as it balances out, but at a terrible cost to my physical and psychological health. I need to resolve the binging problem long term so I have a shot at being healthy and normal around food, well as normal as you can be with diabetes.

Now it is two days before christmas and I'm scared that I won't be able to stop eating again. We have a party to go to today, buffet dinner tomorrow and then guests for lunch on christmas day.

Does anyone have any advice for me please?

I am a carb addict too! Buffets are especially difficult for me to resist. Could you make a big pan of veg soup and have a massive bowl full before going to these events? Definitely don't go to them hungry.
My friend nearly always takes her own food and then may have one or two things from the buffet. Would you have the willpower to do that or would it be better to avoid the food altogether?
I find having one treat a day is ok for me, so cheese and biscuits or crisps at the end of the day after eating fairly well.
However, my best friend is either all or nothing, and once she starts bingeing, she finds it difficult to stop. It is a complete addiction, she has an addictive personality in all aspects of her life. Perhaps looking at hypnosis or CBT after Christmas could help?

Sorry lovely, just realised this is in eating disorders so I'm not sure my advice would be helpful. You do sound like my best friend and she counters in by excessive exercise (she used to have much more negative behaviour) but that isn't great in itself x

I know it's Christmas, so it's impossible to avoid excessive and 'bad' food, but I think you have to ensure that you don't have it in the house in the first place, or limit it at least. It's just like an alcoholic with alcohol.

Start afresh today and don't beat yourself up over it. You haven't undone your hard work, you've just hit a bump

I should have added - eat until you're full on Christmas Day and STOP. Brush your teeth if it helps.

Thank you both. I am definitely a carb addict and having diabetes makes it worse (if it's not related in the first place) as these foods really do harm me, although many diabetics can have them in moderation. I'm not really a moderate person tbh - I have said before that i lack a 'dimmer switch'!

The buffet meal is at my dads so I 'm sure I can choose some healthy food if I really want to, the problem is the little voice that will say 'it's christmas, go on, just this once, you're allowed to treat yourself at christmas...' But after last night I am scared now that if I start, I'll not be able to stop.

I wish i could be moderate around food. I never have been able to, even as a child. I think I need professional help but it's so deeply ingrained. I have long periods of really good control, and think I've cracked it, but it always comes back.

CBT would help I think. Ask the GP to refer you. Otherwise, I think you are going to have to meal plan and stick to it. It's shit OP but it is an addiction. In a way harder that other addictions as you can avoid them but you can't avoid food

I'm a carb addict too. Very slim and not diabetic and would agree it is black and white, some foods are good for me and others are bad.
However I never chastised myself post carb binge, it's genetic I do my best 95% of the time.

I wish I wasn't this way but it is what it is.
Don't add guilt into the mix.

Pretty hard not to feel guilty when I know I am causing damage to my body, already I have had eye problems due to diabetes (treated now) so praying they don't come back. Luckily I am ok most of the time so I reckon the odd binge won't do too much damage if it doesn't go on for days on end.

I'm going to eat healthy/clean today. I'll deal with tomorrow/xmas day when they come as too hard to try and deal with the whole of christmas right now. Christmas and EDs really do not mix!

Off to a kids/friends birthday party now, but I've had a bowl of healthy soup and some low carb bread so will just ignore the buffet.

I am going to deal with this as my new year's resolution, I shouldn't have to go through this any more and I know I need to stop putting up with it and actually deal with it once and for all. I reckon I need to go sugar free long term - sugar is definitely my drug and I can get out of control very quickly when I eat sugar.

Hope the party went well OP. Although I don't like sweet things I am no doubt addicted to sugar through carbs. I can give up alcohol for sober October but giving bread feels with with terror! I honestly couldn't do it!

Take a look at NoS. No snacks sweets or seconds except for days beginning with S, so weekends and special days like birthdays. It is not a diet in the traditional sense, it allows you to readjust your relationship with food and learn how to eat with moderation. Because you have a release valve at the weekends, you are able to slowly break that feeling of needing to restrict/binge. There's lots of info here
www.nosdiet.com/
It has been life changing for me, and is a way of eating I can confidently say I can follow for life, unlike all the other many diets I have tried over the years.