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Eating disorders

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Original poster

If I self refer to the ED services with a BMI of 20 will I be laughed at?

21 replies

BamburyFuriou3 · 17/10/2017 08:01

I had anorexia then bulimia for 15 years but have been recovered for 10. Recovered meant I maintained a BMI of around 24 apart from pregnancy.
But recently I've been losing weight and started exercising again as I wanted to lose the baby weight from my youngest and get back to a size 12.
But the anorexic thoughts have all come back and I've found it difficult to stop losing weight. I'm currently BMI 20 and still losing.
Anyway, will they look at me if I'm mad if I self refer?

OP posts:

picklemepopcorn · 17/10/2017 08:03

Well done on managing so well for so long, and for spotting the warning signs now. They would rather see you now and help nip it in the bud, than see you later when it is entrenched again!

Hang in there! What else can you do to support yourself while you wait?

Original poster

BamburyFuriou3 · 17/10/2017 21:59

Downloaded the self referral form today then bottled it. I'm not ill enough and what are they going to tell me that I don't know already ffs?! I've had 2 inpatient stretches plus years of outpatients... (Went extremely extremely low at one point)

Anyway I have over the past few weeks been logging. My food into an app and have gradually increased my calories from about 600-800 to 1500-1700. I'm hoping that's enough but it's a struggle. I've cut back the running as well, but I do have a toddler who breastfeed s loads so I probably need to add some on for that.
Anyway. Its all I can do right now.

OP posts:

DancingLedge · 17/10/2017 22:10

Try www.beateatingdisorders.co.uk. (Helpline 0808 801 0677)

I think you're absolutely wise to be aware and take action- it's like stepping into a slippery slope or a moving escalator - you're doing well to take action as soon as you start to recognise those feelings. Sooner is always better than later, even if NHS are slower to act.You can seek help elsewhere.

picklemepopcorn · 18/10/2017 06:21

Do self refer!
Even if they can't do anything, you will be on their radar if it gets worse.
Do you find having someone to be accountable to helps? If so, again, knowing HCPs are aware of you will help. It may give you that little bit of support you need.

FAkenameforthis · 18/10/2017 06:25

I’d go down the private therapy route tbh. Feel free to self refer but don’t put all your hopes in them being able to offer help. I think it’s a bit of a postcode lottery as some trusts will have money to support and some won’t.

Pythonesque · 18/10/2017 07:56

Well done, these are I think generally recognised as chronic conditions and to have got to where you are is fantastic. Having the insight to know where you are now is not right and ask for help is a big positive. Make that referral, and perhaps talk with your GP if you can? Management at this point should be able to be different to what is needed when you are severely underweight, but that doesn't mean you don't "deserve" treatment - you absolutely do deserve some support and help to get things back into balance again.

Original poster

BamburyFuriou3 · 21/10/2017 22:19

I've eaten 2200 today and having a huge panic. Really want to purge :(

OP posts:

SomeBananasAreStillGreen · 21/10/2017 22:27

That's a normal amount of food, and you are breastfeeding a toddler, you need sustenance!

Don't purge, it's a slippery slope.... you've done so well.

SomeBananasAreStillGreen · 21/10/2017 22:35

I hope others who know more about this come along to say the right things...

I worked out just now that I've eaten about 1500 calories today. I have had a BMI of about 20 for a few years now and it is stable. Some days I eat lots more than that, and some days I'll just live on salad and sandwiches. I THINK it's normal to fluctuate a bit without worrying too much about it?

One day does not make or break a healthy diet. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, you and your children deserve better than the worry you are going through right now.

Caulk · 21/10/2017 22:52

It’s just numbers. That’s all. It could have been other numbers but it happens to be these. Someone once decided that this is what certain food is worth but that doesn’t mean it’s what you’re worth Find something distracting to do for a bit till the feeling passed.

Original poster

BamburyFuriou3 · 22/10/2017 06:36

Thanks.
I cleaned my teeth and went to bed and listened to Andy Hamilton on iPlayer radio. Very funny :)

The daft thing is I'm actually trying to put a bit of weight back on. I think my milk supply is suffering, and I don't like how my ribs are looking. So I decided to treat myself to banana fritters I'd made with the kids. And had them with chocolate sauce. Then panicked. They were very yum though :)

OP posts:

SomeBananasAreStillGreen · 22/10/2017 12:30

Well done! Hope you are feeling strong today.

Your milk supply won't suffer too much in the short term, because your body will rob itself of essential nutrients. However, you do need to think long term, and be strong and healthy enough to look after the children.

picklemepopcorn · 22/10/2017 14:29

Try thinking of feeding your baby by eating some treats. See if that helps. Your baby's food goes into your mouth, then out to your baby through your milk.

dairymilkmonster · 23/10/2017 20:25

You will not be laughed at. The NICE guidelines for ED specifically say that BMI cannot be used as a criteria for referrals. By definition, all patients with bulimia nervosa are at least normal weight. So ED clinicians are used to treating patients at any weight. Getting help now will really improveo your chances of knocking this on the head. The local services may or may not be able to offer immediate support, depending on their resources. As another op said, a few private CBT sesis may be helpful to kick start you back ont he ight track if the NHS wait is lengthy.It would be money worth spent if it prevented a full blown relapse.
GOOD LUCK - be proud of yourself for reaching out.

Original poster

BamburyFuriou3 · 23/10/2017 21:45

I'll have a go tomorrow.
I've restricted today and been grumpy with the kids as a result, and it's not fair on them. And then I didn't have the energy to go for a run either, which is my only child free time ever...
With a BMI of 20 I don't need to lose weight but I just keep wanting to lose just a bit more as I "know" it will like back on as soon as I stop restricting!

Argh!
I'm an idiot :(

OP posts:

Original poster

BamburyFuriou3 · 14/12/2017 16:51

Still losing. Still not self referred still an idiot for thinking I could do his myself.
I carefully measured out 100g of honey roast cashews to have as a treat today as I know I need more calories.
I've had 3

Why is it so fucking hard to eat?!

OP posts:

Original poster

BamburyFuriou3 · 14/12/2017 16:53

BMI now 19 so still technically not underweight, and have slowed the weight loss.... But....

OP posts:

christmasrage · 14/12/2017 16:56

Oh dear. This is getting pretty serious, isn't it?

Original poster

BamburyFuriou3 · 14/12/2017 20:14

Is it though? I mean, I'm not technically underweight.... I feel I can't ask for help unless I'm "I'll enough"

OP posts:

christmasrage · 14/12/2017 20:26

But you are struggling to eat. Struggling to maintain your weight. You have an underlying health condition.

If you were diabetic and had a blister that wouldn't heal, you'd get help before it became serious.
I have back problems, and need to see the chiropractor before I pop the disk again.

You need support.

christmasrage · 15/12/2017 06:47

Coincidentally, I've just seen a very positive book review for 'Gaining- the truth about life after eating disorders' by Aimee Liu.

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