How do you figure out if you have one?

[revolution909]

Hello everyone! First of ll I think I might have some sort of obsession with my fitness (and to some extent my weight) but i have no idea if it's going out of control or not. I had always been overweight up to maybe May this year. I was able to shift 4st in 8-9 months mostly on exercise and diet. During that time I evolved into a competitive runner who really enjoys it. The thing that worries . me a bit ids thatI've had target weights all along but I keep lowering my target. Originally it was 63kg, then 61, then 57 and now my latest goal is 55kg. All of it is within the "healthy" BMI range, but because of my musculature i do weight more than I look. I think I look great (and feel that way) but in the end I keep lowering my goal "just in case I gain weight" and once I'm there I like what i see so i keep dropping the pounds. The last reason was so I could develop some abs, i objectively have abs now, but I'm still on this crusade of losing just bit extra just in case!

No, I think you just are happy with how you are looking. You don't sound like an eating disordered person. I live and care for one and her mentally about her size is not like yours at all.

Not all disordered eaters are the same, or express the same reasons for their eating/exercise habits. The one thing I've observed across many (myself included) is the need for control, and the fear of losing control.

It sounds to me like you feel that you've finally taken control of your shape and health, and the idea of that control slipping away is terrifying.

That, to some extent, is normal, but right now you should probably be in a 'maintenance' phase, you've got to where you were heading, work on fitness, yes, but no need to work on weight loss.

When you say "just in case I gain weight" you make it sound like weight gain is something that will just happen when you're not looking or that you don't trust yourself to maintain your healthy lifestyle so you feel safer putting the scale back a notch or two to allow for you messing up in some way. It kinda makes sense, but you're right to question yourself, as it is exactly the kind of thought that can become obsessive ('just another 2kg, just another 2kg' etc.).

Enjoy being fit and healthy, and rally focus on that, rather than a random number of kg.

And when you say 'mostly diet and exercise' was there also an element of diet pills or surgery? I ask as that changes the basis of your concern.

Yeah it's like a buffer/cushion. I'm trying to figure out a way to eat slightly more normally and not worry too much a out my calorie intake. Although to be fair in theory I gained 2lbs over the summer holidays, but my Dd has been back at school and I was able to lose that plus 1.5 extra lbs in just 10 days :/. So I'm assuming it's perry easy to get back on track so to speak. As for the medicines, yes I've taken amphetamines and orlistat (both prescribed) but neither did much. I actually stopped taking the latter once Id hit the 30 bmi

Maybe the pills have, on some level, left you less confident in your ability to maintain your weight by yourself. Maybe not, who knows?

I think most slim people keep a running total of what they're eating, though it becomes less conscious with time and they just automatically self-regulate.

If the stress of staying slim/healthy starts to inhibit your enjoyment of it, then there's a problem.

Well that's what I do. I compensate all the time, pizza yesterday salad today. But maybe that's what slim people do