Think I have an ED but my weight isn't low enough?

[Passthebiscuitspls]

Hi,
I'm in the process of divorcing my husband after I uncovered a long term affair. We've always been so bloody happy together that it came as a huge shock. I felt sick for months as new information about the affair kept being uncovered. The sick feeling has gone although everything is still so very stressful as ex making all the wrong choices so it's all so much more stressful than it needs to be.

Anyway, the last couple of months I've started to realise I have a problem with food. I can't remember the last time I cooked myself an actual meal. I do not eat very much at all each day and just pick at the kids dinners, have small snacks. I exercise 5 times a week. It feels like I'm in control when I don't eat.

My bmi however is 20 and I'm 8stone 5. I'm thinking about going to see my GP about it as I need to be strong for the kids and I know it is becoming a problem. But, I'm not sure I'm classed as 'thin enough' as my bmi is still in the safe zone.

Should I go or not?

Go, and well done for recognising it.

I had an eating disorder for years, my weight never dropped into the underweight category but 20 years on I still have the effects of it on my health. Counselling helped me.

There are eating disorders other than anorexia nervosa which don't have very low body weight as an outcome.

If you're under stress, emotionally not in a good place and have lost your appetite to the point that you don't want to eat properly, even when you physically could, no decent gp would send you packing without some sort of help.

Really? Thanks, that's really helpful. I feel like a bit of a fraud but my weight is dropping. I know my friends and family are worried and I'm starting to realise the control I feel I have over myself.

Oh op first of all I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

I think the others are right and you should ask for some help now before this control feeling really gets a grip of you. Well done for recognising the problem now. You are doing a great thing for yourself and your dc

I've made a docs appointment for Thursday. Hopefully I'll be able to say the words.

I do think you should go but be prepared to be told it is a symptom of anxiety and stress - when I am this stressed I also limit food due to lack of appetite . If you are exhibiting behaviour which you find damaging you may have an issue but it may also be a natural reaction.
Do you fixate? Do you limit food as a punishment? Do you feel guilt when you eat or feel proud when you don't?
Every ED is different but you don't sound diagnosable to me ( I don't know you and am not trying to invalidate you or your concerns) x

Thanks Blue. I absolutely get what you are saying. But I know it's not right. I feel thrilled when I don't eat and thrilled when I lose weight. I'm intentionally losing weight. And I don't look great, I know I don't look good with it, but that doesn't make me want to stop.

I've lost more weight this week. My BMI is 19 now.

I can see what I'm doing, but I just can't stop it. And I don't really want to.

My GP was lovely and has referred me to a mental health team. I've no idea how long a referral takes to come through though.