How did you recover?

[BlueSofaPinkLamp]

I'm currently receiving counselling for recovery from bulimia and have done almost a year of cbt too, both which have helped but I still slip into old ways and every couple of weeks have a massive binge and spend all day binging/purging.

What was it for you that helped you to finally become free of your eating disorder, or at least to be in control of it?

I have stopped restricting myself as I know it worsens it, i find it so hard to know any binges will make me gain weight though as I can't put myself through the restriction to lose it again. My BMI is probably just over 20 so I'm not overweight but I have got so used to being slim and can't stand the thought of putting weight on. I do sometimes wonder if this is what is holding me back from getting past this last bit of recovery.

I didn't .. 7 years on

So sorry to hear you are struggling. I think maybe find a local support group that helps you see yourself as starting to recover or a good therapist?. I aporeciate its hard though. I expect the ED has such a hold on you that its hard to see yourself differently. You need to start to like/love yourself for who you are. Easier said than done for most of us but you are a worthy person who deserves a healthy life x

Psychotherapy. Same therapist for 6 years.

CaulkheadUpNorf can I ask you if you went private with the psychotherapy and what type was it? Psychodynamic? Just in the process of trying to decide which road to take.

Seeing this has prompted me to reply again.

I'm pleased to say I've been purge free for just over 7 weeks now, I'm still not entirely there but I am in a much better place mentally. I've been seeing a new therapist who specialises in eating disorders so that has helped a lot. I've got a long way to go, as I am still abusing food at times and I do end up binging once a week/fortnight, but there is definitely progress!

I was anorexic and bulimic for a few years from about age 16 - 20. I refused to go to the Doctor and after a few years of eating less and less I hit "rock bottom", which for me was when I stood on the bathroom scale one day and saw that I weighed 4 stone. I knew instantly that I was not in control and that I was in danger and there and then I changed course. I started eating properly, joined a gym and started to and take pride in making my body as fit and strong as I could.

I hope this helps. I never had any professional help but maybe if I had things wouldn't have got as bad as they did.

Welldone for recovering by yourself, that must have taken a lot of determination.

I'm pleased to say that I'm still making progress, my therapist is great and I'm still seeing her weekly. I have purged once in just over 14 weeks, and whilst I still use eating as a coping mechanism for stress once every week or two, I am a million times better at dealing with it the rest of the time and my eating habits are generally much, much better.

I have put on a bit of weight, no idea how much as I threw my scales out, but I don't care. I've realised I'm worth more than a number and my weight doesn't define me (which I realise sounds like a bit of a cliche!).

I started taking fluoxetine back in Early June and I think that was key to my recovery, I hadn't realised how down I had become and it lifted my mood and gave me enough clarity to really start working through my issues.

I'm not completely there yet but I am confident I'll get there, I never thought I'd get to this stage so I feel anything is possible now.

Sorry, didn't see your reply to me. Integrative psychotherapy. I've tried many therapists in the past but it just clicked with this one. It took a few years for my eating to improve, it wasn't an immediate change though

A month on again and i thought I’d update given there’s a lot of activity in this section of mumsnet at the moment, and I thought this might help give hope.

I’m pleased to say that since May I have only had one episode of purging, in the summer, and I don’t even consider it now, I have realised that food doesn’t actually make me as happy as I thought it did and binging episodes are getting much smaller and fewer and further between.

I do sometimes have conflicting thoughts over food but the ED voice is getting quieter, I definitely feel like I’m winning.

I’m still seeing a therapist and she is great, so I feel like I’m going to continue making progress.

It is hard work but so worth the effort. X

How important do you think seeing someone who specialises in eds is?
I've been seeing someone for a few months he is great really get on with him trust him but struggle to talk not really getting anywhere. But it was the same with the woman I saw earlier in life and she did specialise in eds. I think it's just me putting up barriers but I don't know how to not put them (don't know I'm 'blocking him out' until he tells me a lot of the time.

I think it’s very helpful to see someone who specialises in ED’s, even more so someone who takes away the focus of it being weight related and discovers the true reasons behind it.

I haven’t purged in 4 months and binges are much less frequent now, getting there slowly but surely.

In regards to blocking it out, to some extent you need to realise that bringing your defenses down could take a while, it’s there to protect you but breaking through and letting your defenses down can really be key to really working through the causes of your ED.

He definitely doesn't focus on weight or food. Has actually discovered more about my family than last person I was seeing for years but just wondered if I should be seeing someone who specialises. I really like him though which I think is very important I just seem to clam up and not speak about anything very important when I'm there. Although the

Sorry posted too soon. There are lots of things I think of during the week I would like to talk about but then when I get there I just can't get them out.