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Eating disorders

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only every now and again?? (trigger warning)

9 replies

biggirlpantstoday · 26/04/2016 17:41

Please don't judge me it's my first time posting here in not sure if this is right . So before I go speak to my doctor I just wanted to chat here about what's been happening. I've been dieting for a while slimmingworld , calorie counting allsorts really. Thing is I find that I'm doing really well but then say if one day out of the blue I break eg: Il finish the kids teas off such as pasta chicken nuggets ,

Anything left on there plate really il have a pick at it then feel really bad. I will then eat everything I can get my hands on then while I tell the kids I'm off upstairs to do washing I will go upstairs and purge. Sad

This happens like once every few weeks or so. Not just with the kids tea but say if I have something in general like a Chinese and then I get the overwhelming urge to get rid because I feel I've let myself down.

Iv been like this for about 10 years. But because it's only every once in a while does this make me bulimic? I feel so so ashamed especially when the kids are in the house too :,(

The other thing is though is I also get a strange feeling afterwards like I feel motivated to clean up the house or get on with jobs I haven't been motivated to do all day. It's like I have more energy than I did before I purge. So then this kind of makes me lean towards doing it too. I have depression and anxiety and so I take AD for that. I find myself a lot of days just looking forward to bedtime, sometimes napping after the school run or just not being able to get myself up to do something productive. Other days I can be tottally opposite and cleaning very meticulously I go from one extreme with it to another.

I just feel terrible and fed up. I know it's not normal behaivior but I feel so alone with it.

OP posts:
onemoremummy · 26/04/2016 17:46

That's called Binge Eating Disorder (BED). Definitely go see a GP who hopefully is able to help...

Room101isWhereIUsedToLive · 26/04/2016 17:49

And the mood swings (periods of high activity sometimes induced by your purging) is something that you should definitely mention as well.

biggirlpantstoday · 26/04/2016 22:32

If it is BED I wish the professionals would call it something else than 'binge' eating disorder. Makes it sound awful and makes me feel worse if anything ... :( thankyou for your replys guys

OP posts:
onemoremummy · 27/04/2016 07:36

Would it make you feel better knowing that it's very very common and that there are even threads on MN about it???

I've got it and you'd never know. I don't purge but definitely go through the binge eating part.

barkinginessex · 27/04/2016 07:41

Sorry you are going through this. I have been bulimic for 10 years and although I don't binge and purge every day now I have occasional lapses. Afterwards I have a frenzied clean of the house. I don't know if it's a mixture of shame and guilt or a distraction from what I've done.
In my experience it can lead further binging and purging so I would suggest getting help early on. Bulimia is a very serious ED and has nearly destroyed me life. Please don't let it get any further Flowers.

biggirlpantstoday · 27/04/2016 20:52

Barkingessex I think your right it is a mixture of taking my mind off it but still feeling on high and being in control kind of? I don't know it's so strange. Thankyou for your replies I will mention it to the doctor but j struggle to see how they could help Sad

OP posts:
thatcoldfeeling · 27/04/2016 21:23

That is not BED, that is bulimia. Bulimia is binge and purging, BED is just bingeing.

I always do a bit of a mad frenzied clean/sort out manic kind of thing straight after purging too, I don't quite no why but then I don't know why I do any of it!

barkinginessex · 27/04/2016 23:34

thatcoldfeeling, it's interesting that you do that too. I've been thinking about it and I think it's about keeping grip of the control which I've just lost through the binge and then purging. I agree that this is bulimia rather than BED. Please see help asap OP before it escalates further.

barkinginessex · 27/04/2016 23:35

Keep posting here if you don't feel you could talk to a doctor.

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