Hi there:
This is my first post on here as I have only just seen the topic. For as long as I can remember I have had a big issue with food and my weight. As a teenager/early 20s if I went above a certain weight, I would crash diet and restrict my calorie intake until I became very thin. It never got so I was ever so under weight or not eating enough to warrant medical attention. When I started seeing my kids dad (now my ex Husband) I started to make myself sick as I way of controlling my weight. This was 10 years ago and I have been doing it on and off since then.
The only way I seem to be able to control it is by eating really healthily and not letting myself get to full and keeping my weight under a certain amount.
I rarely actually binge eat although at times of stress I have done it. Its more if I am at a social occasion and eat too much and hate that full feeling or if I have eaten too much when my weight is higher than I would like. In addition to this I drink far more than I should as if I am drinking then I am not eating...if this makes sense.
I don't really starve myself now when I restrict calories as I find that too hard but I know the calorie content in everything and it is always on my mind when I eat-I can enjoy food without thinking about its calories content and making me fat.
I have been to the doctors about this and am waiting for assessment and CBT-the problem being though that I have had to cancel my appointment as they only do Monday appointments and I work Mondays and have no holidays left. Obviously I don't want to request the time off as I would have to take my hospital letter in and its not something I want my (inhuman) male boss knowing about.
I am so scared of the damage I am doing to myself both my making myself sick and by drinking too much.