Hi so nice to see actual section. guess take a while for people to discover it but ed support and understanding when one is older is hard as its sterotypically portrayed in media as starving you girls and oversimplified.
In the red corner agree with you its really rude people comment on weight critical too skiny , whats my secret I would never dream of going up to an overweight person and saying same thing they also dont realise that we see things diffrently get comments dont be daft you not fat thinking they helping not realising that people see things differently.
Im in my mid 30s, wife, mum to 3kids.
had relapse over last summer lots stressful events at home thing triggered it off after 10years of being ok.
Very few people know feel very ashmed like I should know better.
Trying to recover without help by myself and flit between binge purge and restricting so not sure what I am maybe mix of all 3.
I started when I was 12 and had issues on and off over the years last bad relapse so final year at uni.
Im not hugely under weight and I ensure people see me eat but get very stressed if feel eaten too much or overdid the calorie amount set myself that day.
I wish I could say its all about weight but think its more than that life has been so out control last 6months food been one thing have controlled and when I purge afterwards I feel a sense of high and feel better initially then i feel bad and guilty.
I get weird floaty detached feeling some days and feel as if all my worries have gone after purging as feel empty and chilled.
Because of this I find it hard to break that cycle as in short term make me feel better, I know its wrong and worry what others would say if they knew im pretty sure my husband be very cross with me.
Also every few lb I lose people keep telling me how fab I look or well done you look amazing which then in my head think did I look fat or terrible before as when weigh myself on boots scale you enter gender and height and gives quite a wide weight range and im within range lower ed so think yes im fine im not as skinny as a model or anything maybe im deluding myself as go from some days thinking im fine its not that big a deal others I have my doubts that I can stop and maybe i have a problem and need to see someone but then dont think i meet the criteria as read up on ed and support in uk is bit patchy postcode lottery not enough resources go round so would have to be totally bad case then maybe they suggest self help book or anti depressents couldent face revealing all only to be told theres no help availiable.
I went to gps before xmas I thourght about admitting all then but dident they gave me some sleeping pills, suggested anti ds which refused and they run cbt group counselling for anxiety and other mental health issues. My freind who lives same are went on one of these courses called lift for her anxiety she said was useless was group people all different problems ie ocd, depressions, anxiety all one room with one annoying lady as kin how people felt.
Decided thats probably not what I need a passed.
The gp dident ask about food or weight.
its easy to hide as no ones ever looking at it I guess why would the gp suspect I had an eating disorder.
I dont think have any major health issues so can hide it well .
I struggle with energy levels some days and sometimes the laxatives give me a tummy ache.
I find hard to talk to freinds about it as they dont understand its like im trying to tell a story in another langauge.
The 2freind that do know 1 old freind from uni dont see often has guessed and another freind who had no idea seems totally shocked.
My husband knows as an issue before we met he did ask few awquard questions in september I have no idea if he suspects or knows.
I often make excuses not to eat a meal or lie ad say have eaten earlier with the kid and he seems to accept them but to my knowledge im only gperson hes known whos had ed so hes oblivious to the signs.
Its quite a lonly life at times keeping it all so secret.