Losing his welsh

[AmeliaHay]

I'm becoming increasingly more and more frustrated that our 4 year old never speaks Welsh anymore. I'm first language Welsh and only speak Welsh to him and his 1 year old brother, but father is English and although he understands a fair bit of Welsh by now, he cannot speak it, so naturally we have to communicate to one another in English. He goes to a school that primarily teaches through the medium of welsh, most of the children are for bilingual or English only homes so naturally the children speak English. He has gone from being dominant wrlsh speaking to hardly ever answering me in Welsh, and now is forgetting basic words. He understands absolutely everything I say, but answers in English all the time. If I ask him to answer or speak to me in Welsh, he just stutters and either switches to English or just stops the conversation, which is obviously the last thing I want because I want him to always comfortable talking to me. I praise him when he speaks welsh but it doesnt seem to make a difference in the amount he speaks. I've tried to even not answer him and tell him I won't reply unless he speaks welsh but again he just drops conversation, and I dont want to be harsh. Anyone been in a similar situation and have any advice? I'm thinking of doing a reward chart and give him stamps when he speaks welsh to me? Feeling a bit disheartened atm.

Does he watch Welsh kid shows? Maybe everything he is consuming on tv at home is English, all the fun stuff such as the shows he's watching. I didn't speak Welsh at home as my parents are in English and they didn't encourage it but I really wish they had. I can speak Welsh now but I do get a bit nervous!

Don't give up! Perhaps encourage dad to engage in Welsh too.
Don't make an issue of it and continue to speak only Welsh with him.
There's loads of research and advice online. Look at Mudiad Meithrin and Twf. Colin Baker has a fab book on bilingualism.
Watch Cyw on S4C rather than CBeebies.
Keep up the good work - you're not the first and won't be the last parent doing this. It can, be done!

He does watch welsh shows but more english (as you probably know the welsh variations are pretty limited). I rang the school today and spoke to the head who was disappointed to hear of reduction in his welsh so is going to speak to the staff there to re emphasise its importance etc...

YouTube has some good stuff. Especially Welsh songs!

Definitely get dad to speak some Welsh words with him too even if it's pointing at a book or a pair of shoes and saying what they are in Welsh! Try and make it a fun game, he will be so grateful that he can speak two languages when he's older!

Just carry on speaking to him in Welsh. When he relies in English model back to him in Welsh.

"Mummy, I want you to play train with me"

You say in Welsh
"Oh, you would like me to play trains with you"

It's really common for multi lingual children to temporarily (could be a few years) pick one language only to speak in, then transition to use them all.

I hope it's ok to post when I don't have experience of Welsh.

I have several friends with bilingual children. All of the children went through a phase of refusing to speak the mother's language. All of them outgrew the phrase.

Still worth taking the good suggestions and being proactive of course, but I hoped that might reassure you.

Hang in there, many bilingual children go through this stage. My friends are both German and one of their children refused to answer in German until he hit teens.

In the bright side, if he's understanding everything you say, Welsh will come back to him when he is over this phase. Everything you are saying to him will be stored in his mind so he won't struggle later.
Must be very upsetting for you though

I went through this with my two. We are a bilingual Cymraeg/English home too. DS1 only replied in Cymraeg until he started nursery at our local school. Within a couple of weeks he had switched to English only. The demographic of the school at the time was 10% of the children had a Cymraeg speaking parent - probably less than that having much Cymraeg spoken at home. The worst thing was DD was 2 years younger than him and spoke only English for well over 5 years because of DSs influence. I persevered and now both of them speak Cymraeg with me, but English with each other. Conversations are interesting to overhear apparently. I think part of the problem is that over 90% of the children in the ysgolion Cymraeg, around here in the south at least, have English as their default language with only a smattering of Cymraeg when they start school. It's only natural that their natural language will be English. There was no Cyw when my two were little.

Dal ati! Wnaiff e troi nol i'r Gymraeg gyda ti yn y pen draw.

Thank you everyone, this is reassuring. My upset comes from his change from being a welsh only speaker (who only really spoke English to dad) to now english only. He does fully understand absolutely everything I say, and I read in welsh etc too (even the english books I quickly translate in my mind). He does have a 1 year old brother too who I imagine will never have the welsh dominant start to life like he did. We live in Conwy but just on the cusp of Gwynedd county. Grandparents are welsh speaking too (other grandparents live on England and doesn't see them that often). I will encourage dad to speak more welsh too, because he does know a lot now, and he does engage in welsh every so often but will make more games around this. My worry is that if my son can communicate with me in English even when i speak welsh, why would he bother trying to switch back to welsh... They always take the easy option dont they, like us adults i guess!

Maybe pretend you don't understand what he is saying when he's speaking English 🙊 then hopefully he resorts to Welsh. I'm from Anglesey and it is definitely more Welsh speaking up here than Conwy I'd say! The more you go out the less Welsh people tend to speak

@port2022 well I'm from Caernarfon, which has the highest population of welsh speakers... So you can imagine my frustration as I'm still less than 30 minutes from there and the amount of english spoken here compared to Caernarfon is shocking!

Yeh it is crazy! I hope he will want to speak Welsh soon for you and hope these tips everyone has given helps!

I'm really glad I can speak the language and wish it was encouraged a little more in the home growing up x

I just wanted to add both my ds are welsh speaking but I am not. They are now 17 and 23 and never really speak welsh in everyday life, but when they get together they can chat away in welsh as if it is their first language, so it never really leaves you. It will be in him, he just may choose not to speak it but it is there.

My kids go to welsh school but are reluctant to use it at home even though fluent.

We are french/English speaking family. Oldest DD was better at French that DS as she didn't get immersed in English school life until she was 5. DS has only been to English school and their play language was English. Made harder by the fact I was at home and the English speaker. However DH had only ever spoken French, even when they refused (about 4 as well for DS). They are both teens now and speak with DH in french. It is hard and there are so many posts on here from parents whose child seems to be rejecting their language. But everyone says that if you persevere, it comes. And it is such a gift for them - even though they don't realise at the time.

I really do hope it comes back so will persevere. I'm not expecting them to be as "welsh" speaking as me, owing to having an English parent and being raised in a different county (I grew up with 2 welsh speaking parents in a very rural welsh village). I just want them to speak to me in Welsh and be able to actually speak welsh for their development/future as there are so many benefits to being bilingual, and it's their heritage. I have put a reward chart on the fridge, one for him and one for dad, over this half term, so I'm proactive. Your replies have reassured me a bit so thank you.

We also found the French 'tap' turned on when they were with other french speaking children/family. Do they have any welsh speaking cousins/children of their age where you grew up?

Ugh still here having an off night worrying about this issue again, which hasn't gotten any better and is actually worse (meaning the amount of welsh spoken by him now is pretty much non existent). I rang the school head with ny concerns, who is proactive (so he says) with encouraging welsh and also said all children leave the school completely fluent, but, I can't help but feel completely disheartened. Everyday us a battle to get any welsh word spoken, even though I continue to only speak welsh, play welsh songs, put Cyw on. He (and dad) even had a welsh reward chart which has lost it's sparkle. I don't know what else I can do and worry that he'll just never speak welsh anymore, even though he understands every word I say, but when I ask him to speak welsh he pretty much freezes...hes 4 and a half btw.

I think it's common whilst they secure themselves in one language.

A friend grew up in Zambia with Dutch parents, German schools friends and taught in English. For quite a long time over a year she would only speak English but she was fluent in all 3 languages after that.

It's developmentally normal.
Productive language skills and receptive language skills don't develop in lockstep with each other.
Add in environmental factors as you describe and you just need to be very patient. He's so young.
Don't forget you're playing the long game, don't let him feel your frustration or pressure to perform, that will stifle his flow.
To help you find the necessary patience and calm attitude try to learn as much as you can about language development skills in bilingual children.
You want to keep all his association with his mother tongue positive, and make sure you exclusively talk to him in Welsh.