Anyone used sperm donor for a second child?

[HelloSunshine100]

Hi everyone
so basically I’m 37 single, have an 8 year old- not ivf baby, became pregnant naturally with ex- partner.
I have zero interest or motivation in dating or trying to find a partner but really seriously considering having another child for the last few years.
completely new to this but have read some info on online… what would be the best steps to take? Have been looking at fertility clinics and there is a lot of info out there!
also has anyone else had a donor conceived child whilst also having a non- donor conceived child and any experiences to share? Hope I have phrased that properly

Bump

I don’t have any experience of this personally but am sorry you haven’t had any replies yet. Most on these boards seem to be SMBC like me/lesbian couples who have had (all) their kid/s by donor conception or are het couples experiencing primary/secondary infertility and needing donor gametes. Have you tried contacting the Donor Conception Network UK charity? They might be able to put you in touch with a SMBC who has done what you are thinking of.

Tbh I think you will be lucky to find many people on these boards who have done donor conception for a second child in your situation. Because a big consideration would obviously be how much time/attention/financial help your 1st DC gets from their father and thus the differences the siblings would notice about their situations when older (and any jealousy/upset that might cause with one having a father and the other not). But hopefully someone on here will comment with positive experiences or the charity can help.

Forgot to mention btw that I am SMBC of an only child. When the FET of my remaining frozen embryo to try for a sibling ended in a miscarriage I decided not to try again for multiple reasons - potential DC2 would now have to have a different biological “father”/donor (and we’d been lucky that DS’s donor seems really lovely and is in contact), there would now be a larger age gap (5 years plus) and so they would likely have little in common till they were adults, if at all; and dividing my time between their very differing needs/interests would be much more difficult as a single person than if I had a partner to help divide and conquer.

Ultimately my heart still really grieves that I couldn’t have a second child 🥲, but it’s been a head over heart decision for me - I think I’d be taking so much time, attention and money away from the child I’ve already got by doing more fertility treatment.

Perhaps it is very different for you OP - if you have a very high paying job and can afford a long term nanny etc or perhaps your parents are very young Grandparents and so would be willing to help out a lot (my parents have been amazing with help but they are definitely slowing down as they get older).

But otherwise I think the practical side of things might be very difficult -not to mention the potential costs! I started my fertility treatment for my DS at age 37 too and it took me 6 IUI’s, and 2 rounds of IVF before I had him, hopefully you’d have better luck 🍀 but unfortunately it can often take longer/cost more as we get older. Have you considered going to your local fertility clinic for a full fertility check to get some idea of how easy it might be for you to conceive personally - AMH, AFC, FSH, LH tests, HSG scan etc? Plus it might give you some indication of what the potential costs for IVF or IUI might be for you as an individual.

Good luck whatever you do decide.