Where to start… questions

[Fallulah]

I’m 45, partner 52. After 4 years (on our own - the lack of NHS support is a whole
other thread), we finally fell pregnant in 2025 but there was no development beyond 6-8 weeks, which we’ve been told was likely chromosomal. A couple of months after the miscarriage, my cycles returned to normal. I am a slave to my Mira device.

Even if we did manage to get pregnant again, the odds are so stacked against a ‘normal’ pregnancy and outcome that we think IVF with donor egg is the next option. (We are open to donor sperm as well but the egg is more likely). But there is so much information out there I’m lost where to start.

Do you find your own egg or once you pick a clinic do they do that for you? There seems to be lots of stuff online about registers and lists and that part isn’t clear. How do you pick a clinic - is there a trip advisor style site for IVF? How soon could we get going? So many people seem to go abroad but I don’t think that will be practically possible for us.

From the research I’ve done, we don’t qualify for the finance / guarantee schemes so would be entirely funding this ourselves. Am I right in thinking it’s going to be about £15k?

I do not know if you have already started the process but here are some answers:

• Some clinics choose the donor for you, some work with egg banks, and some let you review donor profiles. Before choosing a clinic, I’d ask very directly: who chooses the donor, what donor information will I see, how long is the wait, what is included in the price, and what happens if no suitable donor is available.
• The “tripadvisor for IVF” question is such a real one, but IVF reviews can be hard to interpret because outcomes depend so much on individual medical context. I’d personally look less for star ratings and more for transparent answers: donor matching process, waiting time, what is included in the price, success rate definitions, cancellation policy, and what happens if no suitable donor is available.

Hope it helps!

“Egg donor is more likely” - there is no way I’d let sperm over 50 anywhere near my eggs. More and more research is showing old sperm is responsible for all kinds of problems, especially the rise in autism! It’s simply misogyny that women are shamed about our eggs and we are made to think old sperm is fine. It’s not fine.

You can do it for more like £10k including travel and accommodation if you go to Prague. They do double donation so you can have sperm and egg donation. They’ll call it embryo donation but it’s not adopting someone else’s left over embryos like what is available in America. It’s strictly double donation.

Wait time is much shorter in Prague and you can do blood tests at places like One Day Tests and get ultrasounds done at local private clinics so you don’t have to travel too much.

We used Gennet and I’m 7 months pregnant from the first frozen transfer from a donor egg. I also went to Gynem for a polyp removal which was needed last minute. Gynem was so friendly and efficient. So I would recommend both. Gennet is bigger and will have a bigger donor registry. They are also smack in the center of Prague and so easy to find. There is an Ibis hotel just down the street walking distance. Both have price lists online.