How do other siblings feel with a donor brother or sister?

[BeShyFawn]

Hello!
I’d to get some advice from those that have followed the route of donor eggs before.
After 9 miscarriages, 3 failed IVF rounds we are now considering donor eggs as a last resort. We have a lovely 7yr old boy that is soon to be 8 but the elusive sibling isn’t going to be able to come from myself, just my husband’s DNA.

There is so much to consider. I’m worried that the age gap is too great and that they may not bond in later years as they wouldn’t have the same mother, but they have the same father. We wouldn’t want the donor child to feel less than and we wouldn’t want our son to feel inadequate either. If we did go down this path path, we would be telling both of them from a young age their journey.
It may be that we may stay a happy family of three but I think it’s important to at least look at this as an option. I’d be grateful to hear of anyone’s experiences or advice.
Thank you.

Are you in the UK? If you carry and give birth to the mother it is your name on the birth certificate. Your child would have someone else’s genetic material obviously but would grow up in your family.

Have a look at the Donor Conception Network, it’s a charity for families created via donor conception - I’m pretty sure they have a book or webinar called Mixed Blessings for families with a mix.

I’m a mum via egg donation, I won’t have any genetic children but couldn’t love my DC any more than I do.

In my experience children are very accepting of many different family set-ups. But you would need to be accepting first so do have a look at the charity website and see what information might help.

If you go ahead be aware that donors are identifiable in the future in the UK which a lot of people prefer. For various reasons we went to Spain for treatment, our DC won’t be able to find out who their donor is.

Hi, there’s really no perfect age gap — each has its pros and cons. When it comes to siblings, it doesn’t matter how they were conceived; what matters most is how parents organize family life to minimize rivalry. This can be done by having daily one-on-one time with each child, teaching them how to apologize, and creating opportunities for teamwork, for example, baking a cake together or working on a small project. You can find some excellent books about sibling relationships on Amazon e.g. Peaceful parenting, happy siblings. In my opinion, is one of the best for parents.
As for revealing their origin, that’s entirely up to you; there’s no single “right” or “wrong” approach. I highly recommend reading the article “How to Talk to Your Donor Egg Child About Their Conception.”
But, as I mentioned, even in families with naturally conceived children, it’s important for parents to help them build a strong bond and avoid rivalry. Wishing you all the best!