Abroad or UK donor conception

[Isittime1984]

Hi,
have been doing some research into donor conception using egg and sperm after 5 years of trying IVF and IUI. In same sex relationship . Want to consider using a donor but can’t decide on Spain or UK, am interested in the 100% money back guarantee. Does anyone have advice on ones they have used in past?

Hi, after having treatment in Spain, I’d just like to mention that donors are completely anonymous, you don’t get to choose at all and unless there’s a medical emergency with a child made from donor egg/sperm they will not tell you anything. Not even the clinic know who it is or what they look like. It’s all left to the main sperm/egg bank and a computer program to find likenesses to either you or your partner.
I know some people want to give their child the option to find bio parents, but in Spain, for now at least that’s not an option.
Also, any embryos that at frozen and not used, you pay storage for. If you decide you don’t want to use them anymore, you have two options. 1. Donate them, this could be to someone else OR they also are used for science. 2. Pay to freeze them until you hit menopause and then you have to go to Spanish court to prove that you can’t physically carry them anymore and they will allow you to destroy them.
For me these were two of the main differences that I noticed. I’m not saying either one is good or bad but something to consider, make sure that you’re both okay with the options. Good luck 🍀

@Kaybee1989 thank you so much for your reply. I have done a bit of research and this is what I’m finding, however I am drawn to Spain due to the much higher success rate they have than in the uk. Do you know of any good ones you would recommend in uk?

@Isittime1984 No, sorry, I live in Spain and my husband is Spanish so it was an easy decision for me. We’ve decided to freeze the embryos that we have left, even though we don’t think we want any more children due to age etc, but at least it buys us more time to think. I believe the cost difference is huge in comparison to the UK for treatment. Do you have any clinics that you’re leaning towards in Spain?

I used Manchester Fertility in the UK and they were excellent. Happy to answer questions by pm.

When I was pursuing this, I ruled out Spain due to the complete anonymity having read accounts of adult donor conceived children this felt right for me.

I have twins by donor conception. I initially thought I'd use an anon donor and travel to Denmark (this was 15 years ago) for various reasons.
It took me three years of research and meeting other mothers and also membership of the Donor Conxeption Network before I took the decision to have treatment in the UK using an overseas donor.
My view is that the childs interests are paramount. He or she may want to identify the donor when they reach 18. By taking away this option I realised my children could resent me for taking yhe very selfish option of anonymous donor.
You can do what I did if you want more info on the donor and use one from an overseas bank. I used Xytex in the US. I am also part of a group of parents across the world who have children by the same donor. We may or may not meet them in the future but knowledge of these blood relatives of my children is very important to me for a whole host of reasons.

Happy to chat.

Anon donors were abolished in the uk 20 years ago s

Agree with all of this. I also stuck with a UK clinic for non- anonymity reasons (and funnily enough I also used a sperm donor from the US Xytex bank and I am also in an online group with my DC’s diblings parents and our donor).

I just couldn’t bear the idea of potentially depriving my DC of the possibility of contact or information about half their genetic makeup, despite the extra costs, when everything I’ve read said that is often so important to DC kids once they are old enough to understand. I know that in theory online DNA testing groups could help, but at least with a non-anonymous donor they are hopefully more prepared and more willing to consider future contact than ones who have done it on the presumption of anonymity.

I do understand why you are considering going abroad though OP- my fertility consultants really pushed me towards some clinics in Greece they had contacts with, probably because it is much cheaper. They couldn’t seem to appreciate why I wanted a non -anonymous donor, and I think until you have researched DC people’s stories, it is harder to understand.

I have heard that Portugal is a possibility for non-anonymous donors though? Although I have no experience of it myself. Good luck, whatever you decide.

Thank you all for your comments 🙏 much appreciated

I also had treatment in Spain. I would highly recommend the Donor Conception Network as a place to find more info and connect with others in a similar position. I do appreciate the argument in favour of ID release and think it is a good thing but ultimately we went to Spain for a combination of reasons including the superior technology (have had IVF in the UK and Spain before moving to donor conception).

@Kaybee1989 different clinics within Spain may operate differently, my clinic do know who my donor is, they have their own registered donors.

In terms of cost we actually spent a lot more in Spain partly because they are so thorough (so more additional testing) but yes like for like costs can be lower. It was cheaper to fly to Spain for blood tests than to have them done in the UK.

If you decide to use a clinic abroad there are plenty of people on the regular infertility boards with experience of various clinics.

If you are interested in shared motherhood/ROPA you may find more information via clinics.

I have used a clinic in Portugal as donors are non-anonymous so when the child is 18 they are entitled to the details. This was key for us as we felt it was a basic right for any future person. Double donation was about £6000. So cheaper than UK although tests and meds added up. Only 1 trip for one night needed. Cost about another 500 as flight was a lot. The transfer was a much better experience than I'd had in UK.

Hi anyone active on this thread still? I’m wondering if anyone has experience of double donation over 50?