Am I in the wrong, should I report to SS

[HarrasedDad]

I'm sperated from the kids mum, 3 kids 18 12 and 8
I have them every weekend with the odd exception now and then
My New partner of 7 years is Bi-polar but usually manages well,
On 3 occasions in the 7 years she has been really unwell needing my full support, all 3 occasions I have said I can't have the kids that weekend, they can't see this and they don't need to experience this so young, (they adore my new partner, dote on her) every time I have been emotionally harrased into picking them up anyway, with words like "what do you expect us to do at such short notice" they're your kids as well.... we had plans this weekend your have to find a sitter and so on, this occasion I told them I have to take her to hospital she is that bad.... and they said ok, pick them up after you have dropped her there! I said no I have to stay there and they said don't worry... we can drop them to you, what do you expect us to do at such short notice, it's ended up I've had to pick them up and bring them home to an unsavoury environment. AITA in thinking that it almost equates to failure to safeguard the kids by still sending them into this environment?

Does your partner have any family who can step in on these days?
8 days a months not much to see your children so I can understand your ex thinking they take priority.
As for reporting her. Then that doesn't work as its you with the partner who may not be always suitable to be around children . Not the other way around .

Sorry op but no your partner is right you have parental responsibilities that should come before your new partner I'd say

You fucking what? You want to report your ex wife to social services because she expects you to pick up your own children on your contact weekend? You are so unreasonable it's ridiculous. Sort your life out, you are committed to your children, someone else needs to take her to hospital or look after her when you've got your kids. They need to come first.

This has happened multiple times now, why are you so incompetent that you don’t have a back up plan in place, and why do you think your ex should be responsible for you partners care needs?

How is that your ex’s problem?! You are their father, you need to ask like it and stop putting your partner first. You see them 8 days a month max - ridiculous

I have bipolar so can sympathise, but it's your issue to sort out. They're your children, and it's your contact. Contacting ss is ridiculous.

Firstly, do you ask your ex if she can step in and keep the kids or do you just abruptly tell her you can’t have them and expect her life to revolve around yours?
asking is fine, dropping her in it last minute with no options, is not.
secondly as pp have said, what would you do if your kids lived with you 100% of the time?
they’re your kids and you know now that your partner is unwell so there needs to be a plan B that does not just involve expecting your ex to drop her own plans at any given moment.
Third, how often does she do the same to you? Discovers that she can’t parent her children mid week and expects you to cancel your plans?
if she also does this then maybe you’re more justified in your approach.

my advice, first no involving SS to try to force your ex to have the kids whenever you want her to is a ridiculous and cruel option and they won’t do anything in any case.

Maybe try having a proper discussion with her about what’s happening, ask for her support and offer to step up more during the week in return. Put the kids first and be an adult basically.

Utter tosh

You want to tell social services that your ex is neglectful for sending your children to your house under your care because you have higher priorities?
And you think this will make HER look bad?

I think you need to go to mediation and make an agreement about health emergencies and other dependents

Eg if your ex's mum or new partner was taken ill at short notice would you drop everything and go and get the kids and take them to school cancel work etc? If so tell her this.
If your ex would have to rely on other family or friends in such a circumstance as you wouldn't be able or willing, then you need to build up your own network of support (paid or otherwise) to help with childcare when your gf has a medical emergency and/or find other support for your gf at this time.

The message you're sending to your kids now is that you're a fair weather dad and will drop them when your gf is ill

Pa judging your ex for expecting you to be a parent is ridiculous and mysogynistic and laughable