Donor eggs or more investigation?

[Weeseyannabox]

Hi.
2 questions;
1)Anyone here have 1 OE baby&1 DE? Any issue between them?
2)Anyone choose to go with DE even though issue may be on partner's side? I'm 44&about to have3rd miscarriage.1st conception in 18months. Treated body like a temple for 2years.Am 44&AMH has gone up!So am wondering if it's the DNA fragmentation causing the issue(despite him doing diet&supplements)&if we should get surgery for him,do IVF abroad with Macs,or go straight to DE and hope egg quality overrides sperm.

Hi, I am not a medical expert but haven't you been recommended doing karyotyping to know the reasons of mcs?

@blacksnow We've had that done. All results came back normal.

Hi, I am in a similar situation @Weeseyannabox had 6 miscarriages over 6 years, started since age 36 when I met my partner I am now 42, male factor DNA frag in 34% I am wondering is it my old eggs that cannot fix the dna frag , we had PGT testing on our last ICSI cycle (was our 3rd round) all came back abnormal so that’s no doubt been the issue for miscarriages, had all the other testing we can get, we are considering egg donor but would healthier sperm ie no dna frag give better results on my old eggs is what I am wondering, did you decide what to do ? Egg or sperm donor seems such a mind blower I don’t know where to start!?

@hopefullsosbry I know. It is a bit of a headmelt. I'm okay to go ahead with donor eggs. The whole thing is kind of putting our lives on hold at this stage. I don't even want to think about what I've spent over the last almost-3 years on it. My husband has definitely had enough. It's still your child, and you do contribute to its biological make-up. It's becoming much more common and can be a normal part of life if you make it that way. But it took me a good while to come to terms with it, so take your time and if it's not for you, that's perfectly fine too.

Hi, thanks for the reply and yeh we are the same, everything has been on hold as you say for the last 5 nearly 6 years .. it’s a struggle !

Yes, I get that also, the fact us woman can carry the baby (hopefully 🤞🏽) and give birth /feed if that’s a preference.. I guess we can create more of a bond in a way than the father may, if using a sperm donor, if that makes sense in a way?

If you don’t mind me asking and please don’t answer if it’s not appropriate, would you tell the child they were from a donor and how to go about that is what I am thinking, I would want to be honest with the child of their true genetic heritage, but not sure how I would do this ? At what age ? Sorry I know it’s a bit of werid thing to think about at this stage but it’s been playing on my mind about this side of things ? I think if I am correct it’s a legal requirement that a donor egg child has the right to contact the donor in the UK ? Do you know if this is true?
Our clinic suggested we go with the Spanish donor clinic ? But we are thinking Eastern Europe to be honest, not sure if you have any thoughts or advice re clinics at all?

Sorry to have so many questions, it’s just nice to have someone else in the exact same boat and going through the same thing.

@hopefullsosbry Ask anything. I don't know very much but I'll give you my honest answers. It's great to talk to people in the same boat. I plan on definitely telling the child but that's totally a personal decision and I wouldn't judge others for not. Apparently around 5 years old upwards for a few years is a good time (but do a bit of research before believing me; I'm only getting this from the internet!). There's lots of books too, so I've heard - like, children's storybooks explaining it. I want it to be as normal as possible so that hopefully it's not a big shock for them later in life. I'll be getting some of those books and using them. I was speaking to someone recently about this. She's told everyone because she wants to be open about it, so everyone knows, it's not, "Weird," anymore to her family and friends (not that it ever was), and she's going to tell her little girl that a lovely kind woman helped them make her, because Mammy and Daddy needed a hand. It's not a weird thing at all to think about - I think it's good to plan ahead to give you some sense of stability. As far as I know, yep, they can contact the donor in the UK, if the eggs came from the UK. Not in lots of other EU countries though. Spain is anonymous, for example. So is Eastern Europe. Greece kind of is; you can do anonymous, or eponymous once you source the eggs from an egg bank. I've no experience so far other than the clinics I've had consultations with. To be honest I contacted them hoping they'd be even a tiny bit optimistic about chances with my own eggs. They weren't, and 2 out of the 4 of them strongly recommended donor eggs. They're really good clinics from what I've read (I don't know if I'm allowed to name them here but I can send you a private message if you want the names), but again that's personal preference; depends on the vibe you get from a consultation, the particular treatments they offer that you want, etc., and I would definitely choose one of them if we wanted anonymous eggs, but we don't - we want eponymous, so we're going to Portugal. Have you looked up any of the seminars on myivfanswers.com? Great talks with lots of information probably answering lots of the questions you have! But ask away - if I can help any more, I will.