Anonymous vs Known

[adviceneeded1990]

I’m looking for some input from anyone who has gone down the anonymous donor abroad route. We’ve had two rounds of own egg IVF this year, both have failed to even get to transfer (2 non developing eggs then 0 eggs). We’ve been told donor egg is our best chance due to my low AMH and poor egg quality.

We have now started to explore how we want to do this. Obviously to go abroad is much cheaper but most cheaper EU countries are anonymous donor only. We really don’t have the money for this so it is a big factor. The people who have gone known or traceable donor are very vocal online but I’d love to hear anyone who went the anonymous route and what your thinking was, how you’ve explained it, are your children ok with it, etc.

If you are morally opposed please don’t reply with a lecture - I’ve not made any decisions I’m simply trying to hear all sides of the debate and do my research.

I have donor conceived children but this isn’t particularly relevant to my comment.
I don’t think anonymity is truly possible anymore given dna services such as Ancestry. My own kids can obtain the name and birthdate of their donor on their 18th birthday, but this may not be enough to locate the person, whereas with Ancestry a relative is an email away.

We went abroad as the wait in the UK was years, and prior to that we'd been trying for years. Was very lucky, all went smooth and had twins (first attempt).

They've always known they are donor-conceived, and understand it. We sometimes talk about why their appearance is different to mine.

I wish they could have known the donor. But I have hopes that with people registering their DNA, that in future they will be able potentially to track down - if not the donor - at least relatives in that country.

BTW, my twins are b/g. DD is interested (a little) in finding out more, DS totally not. They are in early secondary now.

Not quite what you're asking but I have done donor egg treatment in Portugal which is cheaper than the U.K. and has the same anonymity laws. It's not as cheap as the likes of the Czech Republic, but it could be a compromise?

I had treatment in Spain, DC too young to have much of an opinion right now but the anonymity does bother me (more so than DH). I have family in Spain so I felt a connection having treatment in familiar surroundings (rather than Czech Republic etc). I read on here recently that donors in Greece choose whether to be anonymous or not, if that is correct maybe that would be an option?
If it's a straight up question of whether I think anonymity is good, I don't think it is, but it's often not the only factor at play (whether that's finance or in our case more about wanting to go to where we felt the best technology exists and therefore maximise our chances of having a child with the funds available - we spent tens of thousands of pounds first on own egg, then donor egg treatment).

Among my Spanish friends/family there appears to be generally less interest in those DNA kits (though I guess if a donor particularly wanted to be found they might do one),