Would this be unfair?

[Trishna99]

To have a child through sperm donation when i already have a child? One who sees their father, and one who doesn't even know who their father is? I'm struggling with the ethics but really want to go ahead (in future, not right now)

Honestly, I think it would be difficult for that child op. Especially if their may see their older sibling head off for a weekend with their dad.

I have to admit I often wonder about children in this situation, not donor but just where one has an active involved father and the other one's father is absent and wants nothing to do with them. Must be extremely hard. I've seen people suggesting the other ones father steps up as a father figure 😐

I have a DC by sperm donation (only child) and to be honest I’d be wary of having a second DC with a different sperm donor - in case one donor was willing to make contact when they were adults and one not, as I wouldn’t want to be unfair to my children in that way.

So I definitely wouldn’t do it in your situation when you know for sure how little contact the “Father” will have in comparison, sorry.

However obviously people do have DC mixed families- so it might be worth contacting the Donor Conception Network charity to see if they can put you in contact with others who have done it and find out how it worked for them.

My 7 year old is donor conceived. When we have been to friends' houses where the dad has been present and nice, DD comes away talking about how it would be nice if she had a daddy. It's not a massive deal for her (at the moment) but I do think it would be difficult for her to have a sibling who does have a dad. I think it could lead to resentment and jealousy.