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Donor conception

For anyone with experience of sperm or egg donation to share support and advice. Please remember this board isn’t for debate about donor conception.

High Risk Donors London sperm bank

17 replies

dreamofbeingaparent · 01/05/2024 17:24

Hello everyone i want to receive your opinion and advice. I started the journey of looking for sperm donor London Sperm Bank was the first place I looked. Started the process of comparing. My brother has been very active in supporting with the research. Just by random coincidence he came across a guy he knows on Instagram promoting he was a sperm donor at the London Sperm banks. My brother knows this person from the gay scene and knows of the guys heavy drug addiction and risky sex parties with intravenous drug use. He was worries about telling me because it says a lot about what he knows, but he felt it was important. We have approached the London Sperm Bank about this information. All I wanted to know was if people with know drug addiction and activity I mention above are allowed to donate, but more importantly if they do accept such a donor does this information get disclosed on the donor profile. They have refused to respond or confirm.
we know this donor is active with the London Sperm Bank and I would like to know from other further mothers if this sort of information of a donor is important to you. Because I’m scared and want this sort of information to be made available to us as future mothers.
I have contacted an MP the London sperm Bank regulator and waiting on responses. The media have show a bit of interest. I would really like your opinions and experiences if you have with the London Sperm Bank.
Im happy to share some of the emails I’ve had from the London Sperm bank.

OP posts:
Fourgreycats · 01/05/2024 17:27

Do they regularly screen donors ? I assume in terms of lifestyle factors they have to trust what the donor tells them but you’d hope they would take this seriously

IamnotwhouthinkIam · 01/05/2024 20:09

I’m pretty certain that all donor sperm is tested for infectious diseases- in fact HIV takes 6 months to show so they freeze it for that long and then test it again. So as far as those sorts of diseases go, donor sperm is very safe.

Persipan · 02/05/2024 10:33

IamnotwhouthinkIam · 01/05/2024 20:09

I’m pretty certain that all donor sperm is tested for infectious diseases- in fact HIV takes 6 months to show so they freeze it for that long and then test it again. So as far as those sorts of diseases go, donor sperm is very safe.

This. It's all laid out in the HFEA Code of Practice.

dreamofbeingaparent · 02/05/2024 10:36

no issue with them and the std test
it is more of a concern the fact they know this person is a drug addict and sex worker
this information must be share with a future family before they choose this sort of donor.
I would want to know
the problem is I have no trust now because we found this donor just by accident and my brother telling me this person was a London sperm bank donor
we approach them and they refuse to say if this sort of information is made available when choosing a donor.
It scare me to think someone with drug addiction and sex work would be accepted. LSB need to make this transparent

OP posts:
dreamofbeingaparent · 02/05/2024 10:39

The screening is not in question
it is clear from the regulator this must happen
what is not clear is when information like the one we found come to light if it is made available
would anyone feel comfortable with an intravenous drug addict and sex worked be the donor? It’s ok but the information need to be available so the family have everything they need to make decisions

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dreamofbeingaparent · 02/05/2024 10:42

what section? I look and don’t see if addiction sex worker must be disclose

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blueandgreenandyellow · 07/05/2024 15:17

Years ago I asked a rep at the London sperm bank of they ran a criminal record check on donors and the woman said no why should we, what difference does it make and I pointed out that a sperm donor offspring wouldn't find it much fun to discover, age 18, that their donor was once in prison for sex offenses or violent crime.
Legal sex work is trickier as it morea moral judgement.
soerm banks are not in the business of character checks. They don't even check the veracity of people's education or health records.
i think they should be asked to provide proof of education and health claims

blueandgreenandyellow · 07/05/2024 15:21

in the us there are multiple cases of sperm banks failing to pass on documented health issues to donor offspring families. Sperm banks there lie to cover their arses. I'd be curious to see what the HFEA ha to say about this but,
as above, they are not in the business of judging peoples lifestyle, they are most interested in the viability of the sperm (as donors are in short supply).

IamnotwhouthinkIam · 07/05/2024 19:52

I don’t think they would have the right legally ( or likely the ability) to do criminal record checks or to check medical records etc. There is a shortage of donor sperm - so all the sperm bank can do is check that the actual “product” they give you is as safe as possible ( in terms of disease free and doing genetic tests) and with the best motility to get you pregnant.

They aren’t going to be passing judgement on a donors lifestyle - it will be up to the potential parents to “ shop around “ and find the donor profile they are most comfortable with. If you look abroad (ie. the US) they often give you at lot more information eg. Some donors might be married with their own kids if that sort of background is your preference.

But yes, a lot has to be on trust - including that the donors are telling the truth in their profiles. If we had an another way to have a child of our own, most of us would not be using sperm donors - but I still think going via a sperm bank is the safest and least complicated way to get donor sperm.

blueandgreenandyellow · 07/05/2024 22:15

It's perfectly possible to imagine a world where the potential donor gives permission for a background DBS check before being accepted into a programme: I have to do it to volunteer in a school so I don't see why donor can't be asked. If they don't agree then they don't donate.
The reason this doesn't happen is that there is a sperm shortage and the banks don't want to turn away a fertile donor because he's a bit morally dodgy or likes to pick picket or beat up his wife.
i suspect even US sperm banks would edit out the racier details a donor put into their profile as their goal is to sell as much as possible and a man with super charged sperm is unlikely to get much uptake if he is a drug taking sex worker.
in my view donors should have to agree to a dbs check minimum before donating. This acknowledges that the donor is a person and a person that the offspring may well have the chance to get to know when they are 18. The state - or a state funded body like the HFEA - shouldn't be endorsing a situation where criminals can be donors - if they wouldn't qualify to work around children they certainly shouldn't qualify to be (potentially, if all went exceptionally well, post 18) a father figure.

dreamofbeingaparent · 08/05/2024 08:25

Sounds like them
vetting needs to be changed the biological checks are not enough the health check is not enough
check sperm count and then std check
family check is yes and no answer a lot of trust is place here.
someone who is not well because of drug use have no problem to lie
basic background checks are missing
takes 10 minutes to do searches to see the type of person it is
crb checks needs to be a must
all this collected data should be put in the donor profile allow the family to make a choice
sperm donor shortage can’t be the reason why the law cannot change
we all need to contact HFEA
i start the process already and contact mps
I will look to start a petition to have it discussed in parliament

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dreamofbeingaparent · 08/05/2024 08:29

You are so correct
all I want is good vetting and responsible people making decisions not ignore what is fact
a future child will discover all this and we as parents will need to answer and say
(because of sperm donor shortage , they accept everyone sorry your father is or was a drug addict that committed all those crimes)
HFEA need to take this seriously and mps need to debate the topic
it’s scary how easy it is for our future children to be damaged hurt angry at no fault of our own

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dreamofbeingaparent · 08/05/2024 08:45

I’ve made a petition – will you sign it?
Click this link to sign the petition:
https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/662055/sponsors/new?token=Rh6NiezgUerEqdtHBWr1
My petition:
Strengthen Sperm Donor Vetting to include background checks; public and CRB etc.
Change the law to force sperm bank to improve the background checks they conduct on donors. They should include criminal background checks, GP/medical records, use public information. These checks/information should be made available to the family looking for a donor.
Our future children at 18 will be exposed to certain information that could be upsetting and avoidable had we as parents been given access to the information to help with the decision. I recently came across a donor promoting himself on social media and he is known for his heavy drug use and other high risk sexual activities. Approached HFEA and the London Sperm Bank which resulted in a response that pointed at std checks and family health check a tick box excercise. More needs to be done

Petition: Strengthen Sperm Donor Vetting to include background checks; public and CRB etc.

Change the law to force sperm bank to improve the background checks they conduct on donors. They should include criminal background checks, GP/medical records, use public information. These checks/information should be made available to the family look...

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/662055/sponsors/new?token=Rh6NiezgUerEqdtHBWr1

OP posts:
blueandgreenandyellow · 08/05/2024 12:42

I think you could potentially get supprt for this petition but you might get even further if you were to frame it in a way that does not for example point fingers at the London sperm bank and maybe roots it in the current legal requirements?

Persipan · 08/05/2024 14:19

There is a (very widely held, to be fair) misconception that DBS checks ought to be done in all sorts of circumstances as a reassurance, when actually access to them is specifically restricted to occupations and situations where it's relevant to have one. Anyone can have a basic check, but enhanced and even standard checks are specifically limited and ring-fenced and this would not be the type of situation where they would be available. Also, they are only really current at the point you get them, and are no guarantee whatsoever that in the 18+ years between donating and potentially having contact with adults born as a result of that donation, the donor won't commit all manner of crimes. I'm not saying I think that's particularly likely, but you take my point.

Requiring DBS for donors would also place a higher burden on the donor than on the actual parents having the child, where the Welfare Of The Child process only asks about very specific convictions regarding crimes against children. This doesn't seem proportionate given the donor won't have any contact or involvement at all during the childhood of anyone born as a result of their donation, and may never have any once they reach adulthood.

I think perhaps what the OP is reacting to here is not so much risk, as a fear that a donor's values may not align with their own. That's a very valid thing to be thinking about in relation to donor conception, and the OP has definitely come up against it in a particularly dramatic way which will have been very unsettling and upsetting, but it's there for everyone on some level. It is possible that 18+ years down the line we might find that our child's donor is someone we think is awful (or, indeed, someone who thinks we are awful). And ultimately I'm not sure you can completely mitigate against that.

I'm pretty sure that one of my son's donors was at some of the same protest marches as me, for instance, from the information they provided. And that's a nice feeling to think we might be somewhat similar, but there's no guarantee that they won't change over time and by the time my child turns 18, they might have changed. Or I might. Or my child might disagree with both of us! (And of course it could happen that people diverge just as easily in a relationship. One only has to look at Billie Piper's situation to see how difficult that can be). There are views a person could hold, for example, that yes, I would find challenging (if they were a raging racist, for instance), but ultimately I'm not able to control that and it falls into the category of things I'd have to work through, and help my child work through, if their donor turns out to be someone very different to what we might have hoped or pictured. I do think counselling is a helpful forum for that.

And I agree with@blueandgreenandyellow in suggesting that a broader framing, I think that would be really productive.

Best of luck, OP, whatever your journey brings.

IamnotwhouthinkIam · 08/05/2024 20:07

I agree with everything @Persipan said (she phased it much better than I could), so I’m sorry I won’t be signing the petition. But I am also very sorry you’ve had an such an upsetting experience OP and I really hope you get the family you want, however it happens Flowers

dreamofbeingaparent · 09/05/2024 15:12

it Is great to read all of these opinions and different points of views. The aim
of this petition and discussion is not to target a particular individual or company
yes it has stem from that process (my situation)
it’s highlighted many flaws in the process and weak background and medical checks (evidence can be supplied)
ive made the decision to not proceed in the UK and I’m now looking at countries that have strict laws around donor history including use of drugs and so on
im keen on making sure a discussion is opened here in the UK to prevent harrowing stories I’ve now received in direct message (thank you for those)
I agree with all that has been said. You can not mitigate a donor committing all sorts of acts after donating etc. That for me is a risk we take
known risk prior to be becoming a donor is something a sperm bank needs to make available
iam hopeful we can generate interest on the topic for at least to bring people round a table to have a discussion around these risks

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