Known donor - contract required?

[CadoAvo]

Hi, first time poster here

We are a FF couple getting ready to start our TTC journey in the new year. I have a very close friend who is willing to donate sperm to us. It's something we've spoken about for years and now the time is finally approaching.
We love the idea of using him so we can each (hopefully) carry a child with our own eggs, and the children would be genetically linked to each other through the sperm donor.
The donor is married (to a man) and has never wanted children but happy to donate to us. He doesn't want any involvement other than to be the "fun uncle".

To protect ourselves and any children in the future I spoke to a solicitor about drawing up a pre conception agreement however they said as the law hasn't caught up with the times, the agreement wouldn't hold much weight on court if we ever ended up there. So there didn't seem much point spending a lot in legal fees to get a contract drawn up for it not to be worth the paper it's written on.

For peace of mind and so all parties will know exactly where they stand, we would still like a written document signed by all parties. Does anyone have a template we could use as a starting point? Or maybe further resource we could look into?

We are married so my DW will be able to be named on birth certificate as the other parent so no concerns there.

Anyone with any advice or been in the same boat?

[Persipan]

My understanding is that if you were to have treatment via a clinic (even using a known donor), the legal position would be clear. Would that be something you'd be open to?

[Finteq]

Get something signed even if it won't hold up in court at least you've got this evidence.

Check online. There should be draft contracts.

[GrettaGreen]

As PP says, you need to use a clinic to ensure he doesn't have parental rights.

You will be absolutely screwed if he suddenly wants involved after he sees his biological child that resembles him, his father, brother, mother etc.

The biggest expense for lesbians in fertility treatment is sperm so if he's willing to go that route it should be feasible. Tbh everyone says how expensive IUI is but if you can't afford it, then you can't afford a baby.

We spent £30000 over 4 years and 12 of it was on sperm if that helps. Our son us 12 weeks old and the peace of mind that he is me and my wife's equally and noone else's is priceless.

If you have any questions about treatment etc, feel free to ask.

[2welshmums]

Hi,

Same situation here, our DD is 5 now and we signed a mutually agreed contract before we started receiving samples.

Currently TTC #2 and we signed again.
We are married, I am on DD's birth certificate as second parent - don't have to do anything special as we are married.

I would just say that you need to make sure the donor is on the same page, happy to donate only and not try co-parent later down the road.

Hope it all works out for you